Thursday, January 17, 2013

She Believed

This week I began my campaign to "believe I can." This is my mantra for this year. Because it is going to be one wild and crazy ride.

My three masters classes are already threatening to crush me, Senior Adult Day is shaping up to be way more work than I ever anticipated, and my four other part time jobs are starting to fall by the wayside- but they can't because I need them to live!

And yet, in the midst of all this crazy, I find myself taking more time than ever to savor my family.

Yesterday was the only full day I will get to spend with Noah this week. We ate breakfast together, toast and peanut butter, and Noah settled in to watch some Sesame Street while I frantically cleaned the kitchen and got ready to go in for an evaluation at the clinic. We went to that together, went to the gym together (where I ran/walked 2.08 miles in 35 minutes! Furthest ever!), and then came home to have lunch together.

I was a little disappointed because this day was certainly not shaping up to be the Noah-centric day that I had planned. I miss him a lot now- and sometimes I feel like even when I'm home, I'm really not home. Like all moms, I worry about silly things that I cannot control: will he get good grades if we don't eat a family dinner every night? When I work does he feel abandoned? Is he going to grow up and do drugs if I don't put my computer away right now and stare at him?

So, I picked him up and started heading to his nursery to clean him up after lunch. And then he leans his cheek up next to mine, puts his arms around me, and starts humming. And we dance together.

It's in moments like that that I have to believe that he understands and, yes, one day he will appreciate, the way I work to keep my grades up, put money in the bank, and keep our house as clean as possible (well, livable, at least). I may not be able to sit all day with him and pass a block back and forth, but I can take five minutes and dance to the tune that he's humming in my ear.


This year, I believe I can...

  • finish the next two semesters with A's
  • pay off three loans
  • Run a 5k
  • Quit two of my part-time jobs
  • Be a good mom
She Believed She Could, So She Did


Click on the link on the side to follow my journey on Instagram.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


This is my last week of non-craziness.

Next week I begin the semester at Fontbonne. I'll be in class Monday-Friday. I'll be staying the night in St. Louis on Mondays, and the rest of the week will be commute-class-commute-work-teach lessons. I won't get to see Noah until 5 PM at the earliest every day. Sometimes later.

I know this is what so many moms do every day. But I haven't had to do it yet, so have some pity on me.

Because of the busy, I'm anticipating summer, like, a whole lot. I want to hang out with my family for an entire day in our pajamas. I want to take a weekend trip. I want to take Noah to the park and swing with him and take him down the slide. I want to take him for ice cream. Go to the pool. Visit friends.

This summer is the summer of the super mom. I've decided it, so it shall be.

Friday, January 4, 2013

New Year, New Attitude

Noah and I have been sick the past couple days. Noah has been the projectile vomiting kind of sick. I refuse to eat, because I hate to vomit. So we've just been hanging out together, which is, you know, pretty perfect.

I was thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2013 and whether or not I wanted to make a 13 goals list. I decided I really didn't. Partially, yes, because I barely accomplished any of my goals for 2012. But also because what I want to accomplish in 2013 is so much more complicated than 13 goals.

I follow an amazing blogger, Kelle Hampton. She is a stay at home mom/writer/blogger/photographer. I want to be like her when I grow up. Even though I'm technically already grown up.

What I realize every single time I look at her blog is that I do NOT slow down and smell the proverbial flowers with my child. I run around like a crazy person trying to keep my house clean, work one of my four different jobs, and get my masters degree. I don't feel like I take the time to look around myself, which explains the lack of posts recently. I would sit down to write and then think, "Gee, what do I even have to write about?" and the answer would be nothing.

There are so many things I want to instill in my children. I want them to love to read. I want them to be healthy eaters and make wise choices. I want them to appreciate music and art and sports, but more importantly, to appreciate the people who do these things. I want them to love Jesus because they see me loving Jesus and see how he completes every part of my life.

And, on less important notes, I would love to be the pinterest mom. Not because I'm good at it, but because the memories made while making these crafts or starting these traditions would be so special. I don't want to be too busy to sit down with my children and finger paint or mess with glitter.

So my resolution starts today. Of course, I do have to make lists no matter what, but most of the ideas I have are much less tangible than usual.

I'm going to start making memories with Noah
Whether that means just a normal bed time routine (I know, I know... I'm a terrible mother) or sitting down to make crafts. I have to be more deliberate with him.

I'm going to become more positive
Jordan can barely stand to watch t.v. with me anymore- I've become a real nitpick. I'm hoping that he can find a gentle way to keep me accountable and that I can start seeing the silver lining a little more often and accept others' faults more readily.

I'm going to get un-addicted to technology
I'm finding that I'm on Facebook, email, blogs, and television more and more and I text non-stop. That has to be done. I'm going to start with Tech-Free Thursdays and see how that works out for me. Then I'm going to start trimming down on other days. It's eating a hole in my life that I'm never going to get back.

So, those are my resolutions. There are a million other things I would like to accomplish in the New Year, but I'm not going to hold myself to them. Because the more goals I make, the more I think about them instead of my child. And that will end this year.