Motherhood at 24- It's a blessed journey

Don't Waste Your Life

2012-02-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

    It's amazing what getting up at 6 AM in the morning will help you accomplish.

    Since getting up I have fed a baby twice, picked up the entire house, done two loads of laundry, read my Bible, finished a book, and begun to read my 200 pages for the day. I didn't get a book read yesterday, so I'd like to try to catch up on that somehow, but I'm trying to accomplish other, more important things right now. Like blogging. And calling my grandma.

     I read "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. In all honesty, this is my second time reading it, but I love John Piper and I had made it an unstated goal for 2012 to read all his books. There are a lot more than I thought (54, and most of them at least 200 to 400 pages long), so I probably won't do them all this year, but eventually I will read through them all. He's such a smart individual and he writes so candidly and authentically. He makes me feel like an intellectual while, at the same time, assuring me that although I am not as smart as he, I can put all of these points into practice.

    This is a great, great, great book and I highly recommend it. I seldom consciously make Jesus my primary focus and his glory my primary goal. Usually I just try to live well and decide that if anyone asks me, I will give Him the glory. The problem with that idea is that people rarely ask me. This book has turned that idea on its head.

    In other news, I turned 25 on Sunday. I know that I should probably change the title of the blog, but I think I'll leave it. It is simply a reminder of where I've come from... where it all began.

    In other other news, I go back to work tomorrow. I have some mixed feelings about it. I will definitely be glad for the paycheck, and I'm excited to begin the budget blitz and really start to pay off this debt. I'm sure that we'll get all the medical bills paid off and probably my old school bill. That will leave us with the three actual loans to get rid of. In all honesty, I wish I would have started this sooner so that we could get them paid off before we had to start paying on Jordan's, but I doubt that that is possible. Who knows, though? I realized that in an average month we spend approximately $800 on eating out. So if we cut out even half of that? Those loans are going to go down so fast we won't know where they went. Right?

Monday Goals and Updates

2012-02-13T09:43:00.000-08:00

1. Be able to get my wedding ring off my finger

    I still can't do this, but I am so close. Maybe by the end of the month? I really hope so. My finger is starting to feel a little claustrophobic and if it doesn't come off soon I'm liable to try something drastic. Like a fad diet.

2. Register for my first 5k this year.

     I didn't register for it because of our current money situation. I've been on maternity leave for almost three months and that doesn't leave much in the bank for frivolous things. But I HAVE chosen it. I'm going to do a 5k run to benefit Heart for Africa. If you've never heard of it, go to their site. It's a phenomenal organization and I'm privileged to have many friends who have went with them to Swaziland.

3. Begin the Couch to 5k program

    I did begin it. I didn't do an awesome job at the first week, though. I ran the first day with pretty much no problem. Then it got cold. I mean bitterly cold. I tried to run again yesterday and only finished half of the training. I had tears streaming down my face from the wind hitting my eyes. I hate cold weather. Hate. It.

4. Drink 100 oz of water per day.

     I did this two days of last week. Two other days I drank at least 70. The other three days were iffy, but I did not go one day without drinking at least 16 oz. For really healthy people this probably seems really disgusting. But for someone like me who would sometimes go at least 4 days without drinking any water at all? It was pretty awesome. And it helped me to really become cognoscente of what I was drinking. And it wasn't all good, let me tell you.

5. Cook 4 days this week.

     Done and done. I am really starting to enjoy cooking. It takes all the stress out of paying for food everytime you eat it. I still am not a big fan of grocery shopping, but that will probably get easier with time.

And now for my new goals. I considered a lot what I would make my focus for this week. I think I will make it three-fold. I will be working on reading those 100 books and budgeting so as to attain my *2* monetary goals.

1. Read 200 pages of something per day

    I would prefer to make this a larger book of some sort, whether it be Jane Austen or John Piper. Just anything that would be impossible to finish in one day.

2. Read one book of the Bible per day

    I think I can do this. If I'm short on time there are many books that are just as short. :)

3. List all the items that we can sell on ebay/amazon

    We both have old laptops, cameras, and ipods that are really just collecting dust. We could sell these and easily have about $200 to either go into savings or to my student loan debt. Not to mention a lot of books that we will never read.

4. Plan our budget blitz.

    More on this later in the week.

5. Finish one book per day.

     If it's not a book that I'm reading 200 pages on, then I will grab a shorter book and just zoom through it as quickly as possible.

Monday Goals-- No updates today

2012-02-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

I did a halfway job with every single one of my goals this past week. The only thing that I'm proud of is that I lost 4 pounds last week. That is pretty awesome. So... New goals! I think I will try to simply focus on fitness this week.

1. Be able to get my wedding ring off my finger.
    I am so close! I think a few more pounds will do it. I haven't been able to get it off since a month before Noah was born.

2. Register for my first 5k this year.
     It needs to be about 9 weeks out from this week. Because of my next goal...

3. Begin the Couch to 5k program
    This program is 9 weeks long. If I register for a 5k 9 weeks out it will force me to complete the training program. More than anything, I want to RUN these races this year. Aside from the fact that I just don't want to embarrass myself at a race, my last race is a marathon relay, which means it will be at least 5 miles for me and not just the 3.1.

4. Drink 100 oz of water per day
    I think that a big part of my problem with weight loss is that I don't drink enough water. I know I will be on the toilet all the time, but it's going to be worth it at the end, I think.

5. Cook 4 days this week
     I have been doing a good job with this, and I think that it will help my weight loss journey so much to know exactly what is going in and out of my mouth.

Well, have to run off now. Peanut is crying for no immediately discernible reason.

Weight Loss Goal

2012-02-02T09:31:00.001-08:00

I have until February 24 to look awesome in a dress.

I can do this.

Things I Love About 5 Weeks

2012-02-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

The pacifier in my baby's mouth
The cooing sounds he makes while he's eating
He big grin when he sees me first thing in the morning
Cuddling him up in his blankets
That his eyes look exactly like his dad's
How he will find me in a room
How warm he always is
Wrapping him in my arms and sleeping on the couch together
Coming into my own as a mom
His pouty lip
That he has my nose
His round hands
His snoring at night

I really, really love this child.

"Monday" Goals? and Yearly Goals update

2012-02-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

Crap. This just keeps getting later and later.

My friend from England was with me the last couple days, so I'm going to cut myself some slack.

    1. Finish the Bible and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"

        Nope. But I did read about six books of the Bible. Which is pretty awesome anyway. I think I'm underestimating how long the Bible takes to read.

    2. 100 freaking fitness minutes

        I got 60 done this week. I'm not ashamed of that. Better than last week.

    3. Catch up on work


        I caught up on all the calls I needed to make for my dad and I bought the piano books I needed. I still need to type out my lesson stuff. Getting prepared is good!

    4. Work on a budget

        Our main problem, we've realized, is that we eat out way too much. We really hate the envelope system. Even though it works. So we're just going to make one envelope for "fun" each month. I think this will cut our spending a lot.

     5. Get Peanut on a schedule.

        Peanut slept though the night last weekend like a champ! He's not doing too poorly this week, but there's still some work to be done.

And now for the yearly goals...

1. Pay off half my student loan debt

      $334.39/$10,773.16
      In case you don't understand what I'm doing there, that's $334.39 paid out of the $10,773.16 that I want to put into loan debt this year. We're starting to get held up by some medical bills that have finally started coming in, but we always end up making a little extra here and there throughout the year. Especially the summertime. I'm not worried yet. After August, I'll be worried.

2. Read 100 books

     3/100
    Still feeling good about this. I'm reading some really great stuff. And I want to try to make it a point to read the Bible through in the first half of every year, so I'm really working hard on that first.

3. Make the Monte Carlo last through 2012

      1/12 (months)
      You can do it, baby!

4. Have a full time job in my area of expertise

      Still working on it, but lessons are starting to roll along really smoothly. Five students so far and the recommendations keep coming in!

5. Return to pre-baby weight

    -3/19 (lbs.)
    I was doing really awful at this. I actually gained 6 pounds until I finally put a stop to the binging. I have lost 3 pounds this week (I am pretty sure a lot of it was water weight from so much soda)

6. Run three 5ks

    0/3
    I am signed on to be on a relay team in November, though! I'm trying to eat healthy to get some of this baby weight off and loose the cold so that starting back with running won't feel so atrocious.

7. Go on vacation

     I haven't done a darn thing with this yet.

8. Read my Bible daily

     32/365
     I am totally enjoying this goal.

9. Have $10,000 in savings

    I don't want to go into detail about how much money we have. Suffice it to say that... we're ending this month with less than we came in. Once again, though, maternity leave is kind of hurting our bank account. I will, once again, be worried in August.

10. Keep up with my house

      I feel good about this one so far. Our bedroom is still a wreck, but it hasn't stunk so far this year. So that's a definite plus.

11. Write to Yanci once a month

      1/12
      I've also received a letter back from her! I love that girl! She is so sweet!

12. Cook more

I've definitely cooked more. Unfortunately, that means that I've cooked about 4 times this month. February will be better.

And, if you're lucky enough to still be reading my goals...

Goals for this week.

1. Read 2 books.
Any books at all. I will still read my Bible daily, but I really need to put some titles up there.

2. Prepare well for my lessons this week
I do prepare, but sometimes it's less than I would like. I want to be viewed as a professional.

3. Loose those 3 pounds
   I would like to get back to the 19 pounds that I need to loose for this year. Then I will start being more reasonable with my weight loss goals.

4. Write Yanci
Have I mentioned how much I love that girl?

5. Clean the bedroom
   How hard can this be, right? ... Right?

I Dreamed a Dream

2012-02-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

I'm not posting this on Facebook because I want to make sure that only my regular readers see it, not just random passer-bys. If you're looking for optimism on motherhood, you should go here today.

I laid my little one down in his crib to let him "cry it out" today for only the second time since he's been born. I know, it's terrible and I should have done it sooner.

I went to take a shower while he "took a nap." I closed the door and took my time for the first time in a while. While I was drying my hair, I sang, as per usual. I don't know how many people who read this are musical theater connoisseurs, but I happened to pick a song called "Climbing Uphill" from "The Last Five Years." I picked it because it's a fun song to sing that every musical theater person can relate to, beginning with a phone call to her dad detailing her audition process, leading into a dramatic rendition of what's really going on in an actor's head while they audition, and then rounding out with a declaration of what this girl plans on doing with her life. Or rather, what she plans on not doing.

I will not be the girl, stuck at home in the 'burbs
with the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs.
I will not be the girl with the sensible shoes
pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues.
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
to be trodding along at the genius' heels.
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by.

All of a sudden, I'm singing this song (knowing that I used to sing it with all the confidence in the world) and I realize...

I am this girl.

Sans the dog, of course.

Actually, I'm not sure that where I live really qualifies as the 'burbs either.

And I can't grow a garden to save my life. Too bad gardens are actually in vogue now.

I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love my baby and my husband more than anything in the world. Seriously. More than anything. But I can't help but feel a little... let down by what I've let my life come to.

I had some serious goals that I wanted to accomplish before having children. Most of them can still be accomplished, but, wow, do I have some fancy footwork to do to see them through. I feel bad that I have been leading everyone to believe that I want to be a stay at home mom. That's not really true. I really want to be out of my dead end job that has nothing to do with anything that I love. I love love love my child and staying at home with him would just be preferable to working at Family Video, that's all. I think that he would be just fine going to day care for a while each day. I will miss him, but it sure beats being stir crazy in this house.

So we've accomplished that I'm the girl stuck at home in the "'burbs" and that I have the baby and the crappy job.

And if you know anything at all about my husband you know that he really is a genius. He's a fantastic musician and a fantastic teacher. And everyone who has ever met him tells me I'm a lucky girl. I totally am.

But I think I could be up there too.

We have accomplished that I make a salary that would land me at the poverty level if something ever happened to Jordan. Thereby proving that I do, in fact, require a man to get by. Actually, I'm pretty sure all my money is just going to pay my debt off.

And then I ended the song and turned off the hairdryer. As if to punctuate my feelings, I hear my baby crying. An hour after I laid him down. When I walked in to the room, he had cried so much that the poor little guy had thrown up twice. More laundry that I won't get done.

I just remember a time when I was making art... not just making babies. Right now, in this 'burb, a baby is all I'm known for making.

I have always believed that you make your own destiny. When I was in grade school I wanted to be famous, and someone (I genuinely can't remember who) told me that people from Iuka, IL had a hard time becoming famous. I needed to have lived in a city for that. And I remember thinking the grade school equivalent of, "Screw that. When I'm done, there's going to be a statue of me in this town."

You make your own destiny.

The problem is, I'm not quite sure how to make my destiny. I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I look at my basement and the coffee table is littered with baby book stuff. I don't even like scrapbooking. I like to throw everything in a box and pull it out years later and say, "I should make a scrapbook out of this." I don't like to clean, but most of my house is pretty spotless right now. I hate cooking, but I'm going to start. I am 25 pounds overweight and am having a really hard time shaking it off and feeling beautiful like I used to.

I tried to reinvent myself as a mother instead of a career girl, a city girl, an actress, or an artist. It didn't work. I AM a mother, but that is not the sum of my parts. I did not feel "complete" when they placed that baby in my arms. I felt happy. I felt overwhelming love. But I did not feel complete. I think completing you may be an unfair burden to lay on a being that is literally learning how to breathe.

I will learn again someday how to create my destiny. Right now it's all I can do to take a shower and make sure this baby is fed and has his diaper changed. I'm exhausted and very nearly out of ideas.

And that's just where I am right now.

Goals Update and a very late "Monday" Goals Post

2012-01-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

    1.~~Re-read the Harry Potter Series~~ Read 7 books


      I read 3 books. But, once again, I spent a great deal of time in my Bible. I also got 100 pages into "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." I didn't meet this goal, but I still think that I'm well on my way to 100 books by the end of this year, which is, really, the reason behind making these mini-goals.

    2. 100 Fitness Minutes


        You know what? I didn't do this AGAIN last week. But I did download some awesome fitness apps. The good news is that I've already done 30 minutes for this coming week. I can't fail three weeks in a row. I just can't.

    3. Clean our room and bathroom


        I worked on this, but it just ended up getting demolished again. Our bedroom is just the most convenient place to stow things when we have guests.

    4. Cook 3 times.

        I cooked supper only once this past week. I'm still pretty proud, though, because I made lunch everyday. Even if it was just a turkey sandwich.

    5. Register for a 5k/begin making plans to return to running

        I haven't registered yet, but I have planned what will be my farewell to the running season for 2012. It's the Route 66 Marathon Relay in November. We'll have to travel to Tulsa, OK for it, but I think that that could be either a fun family vacation or a good chance for me to get away sans baby. I'm not ready to do that yet, but by November I probably will be.



      As for new goals:

    1. Finish the Bible and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"

        I am about halfway through the Bible and don't have too much further to go with Huck. Also, I am vacationing at Tan Tar A while my husband attends a music conference. This means I am in a cabin at Lake of the Ozarks with nothing to do except relax and read for the next 3 days. It's awesome.

    2. 100 freaking fitness minutes

        Like I mentioned earlier, I have 30 done now and I am in love with my Nike training app. I don't think that this will be an issue for once this week.

    3. Catch up on work

        I have a lot to catch up with as far as at-home work. Student evaluations to type up from last week, books to buy (I AM at a music conference, after all), and calls to make.

    4. Work on a budget

        We are starting to believe I may be able to work at home in the near future. This means we may need to tighten our belts or at least start being more aware of where it's going. Fortunately, there's an app for that!

     5. Get Peanut on a schedule.

        I'm bad at scheduling myself, much less a child. That, I have determined, will end this weekend.

Friends and Photobooth Fun

2012-01-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

****Goals edit****
At some point during the last couple of moves, I lost my second Harry Potter book. I can't really justify buying another copy before I start getting paid again, so new goal is simply to read seven books this week to replace the series.

***

Sunday we had several people over to our house and ended up in a little bit of an impromptu party. Afterwards, a Tyler and Samm stayed later to watch Rush Hour 3 with my husband and I (I promptly fell asleep once the movie began). Samm usually stays in our guest room when she comes down from St. Louis to see Tyler, and since it was so late when the movie ended, Tyler just slept on our couch that night.

I got up Monday morning at about 9. Since it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, no one in the house had school or work. I moved around the kitchen making my coffee as silently as I could and then fixed a bottle for Noah and headed for my office. Jordan joined me a little bit later and we quietly talked and slowly and calmly welcomed the day. I was absolutely loving my full house. It's a strange thing, realizing that my house had never had so many people sleeping in it at once and that it made me ridiculously happy.

I think that a few more children will be in our future. Not the near future. But the future nonetheless.

And now I leave you with Noah and I's first adventures in photobooth. Enjoy.

I think that this is when Noah started to get embarrassed of me

This is when I try to garner some support for the "Noah looks like Kasey" club. It didn't really work.


One of my favorite pictures of the two of us so far. He looks thrilled that this will be on the internet for all time.

***

I read this blog every day without fail. I love her stories and her seemingly unwavering optimism. I wanted to take this time to shamelessly plug it and tell you to go there now and read it. And then donate to Nella's 2for2 fund to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. They are an incredible family. I want them to meet their goal. $200,000 baby! You can do it!

Weekend and Monday Goals

2012-01-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

This weekend was actually really slow. It was so nice to just be at home with my husband and baby because starting tomorrow Jordan will be back at work. It's really so sad. I knew that it would happen at some point, but I was just really enjoying the little cocoon we had made at the house.
On the up and up, things are really starting to roll along nicely on the "work at home" front. My dad has offered to let me do secretarial work for him from home, I've secured some students, and I can still work at the clinic. I need to sit down and do some homework about how much I would end up making with these three things combined.
Since I am really pretty darn proud of myself for my goals, I can't wait to post them. So here we go.

Read 3 books

   I didn't reach this, but let me defend myself. Last week I read seven New Testament books and I am almost done with a book called, "Thinking, Loving, Doing." I love the book and it seemed like it would be a quick read until I actually dove into it. It is written so academically and I didn't want to miss one thing that they were saying, so I decided to just take my sweet time and enjoy the book.


    2. Get my lessons rolling

        Accomplished!
        My first student starts a week from today. I have three confirmed students and four that I'm still waiting to hear back from. I have lesson plans planned, stickers bought, and an office fully set up and ready to go. We're getting a piano delivered today and a tuner coming in shortly after. I'm purposefully waiting to buy the books because I want to just buy them all at once. I'm hoping that the four other students come through for me!

    3. Do 100 fitness minutes

       Ok, this one I bombed hard. I was thinking about being nice to myself and awarding myself 30 minutes for walking around the mall, but let's be real. It doesn't count unless it's purposeful.

    4. Clean out the refrigerator and do the laundry

       Refrigerator? Clean. For real. I'm so excited

       Laundry? Halfway done. I'm ok with that. Jordan and I both did some this past week. Chances are the laundry will always only be half done. I think I'm going to consider this a victory.

    5. Finish "Lost"

       Oh man. Done and done. It was fun. And still disappointing at the end. Even if Jordan does like it.

And now on to the new goals for this week!

Re-read the Harry Potter Series

       I don't think that this goal is too hefty. Considering that the first time I started reading them I got through five books in three days. The books are simple- super easy to read quickly- even if they are long. Plus I just love them. And I've been wanting to read them for a whole year, but I was trying not to re-read anything last year. I still need to finish "Thinking, Loving, Doing," but I'm almost through with it, so I should be done today.

    2. 100 Fitness Minutes

       Let's try this again.

    3. Clean our room and bathroom

       If you saw our master bed and bath, you would know why it deserves its own goal. It's going to take a good 2 to 3 hours to get those clean. It's just gone by the wayside this maternity leave.

    4. Cook 3 times.

       I leave on Friday to go see my sister in the Miss Illinois Fair Queen pageant. So this needs to take place over the next few days. We went to the grocery store the other day, so I have everything I need. Except the will.

    5. Register for a 5k/begin making plans to return to running

       I shouldn't start running until I'm cleared by my doctor on January 30, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't start making my plans. I want to actually RUN my three 5ks this year, not run/walk them, so a certain amount of planning is in order, I think.

Naps

2012-01-11T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today I sang my baby boy to sleep for the first time. It was magical. Even the parts when he woke up every time I stopped.

One of the Guys

2012-01-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Today was just one of those perfect days when you look around and say to yourself, "I am so overwhelmingly blessed."

Jordan and I have made it a point to become good friends with a few of the "kids(?)" from our town. By kids, I really mean 19 year-olds who are freshmen in college. At first we really believed that this would be our ministry to them. I suppose it has been to a certain extent, but I'm realizing more and more that they are ministering to us more than we could ever minister to them.

These guys helped us move last June when all we could offer them was a free meal. Kurt has assisted my husband with numerous fix-it jobs around our house. Tyler helped Jordan pack and drive to the hospital when I was getting induced. They have been a major blessing in our lives.

Tonight the boys came over just to visit and chill with us. Jordan had pre-ordered the new David Crowder CD and we had it playing while Tyler helped Jordan construct the new playpen. Noah started whining from the boppy pillow on the floor. Kurt immediately went to hold him.

Can I just say how great it is that I get to be a part of teaching these guys how to hold babies? It's so cool.

Eventually the playpen was built and we were all just lounging around in the living room listening to familiar hymns revamped by David. I looked over and watched Kurt singing to Noah. It was precious and touching.

It's so wonderful that Noah gets to grow up surrounded by men of God who love him and who want to see him grow into a strong Christian as well. It's a rare occurrence that young men would want to devote their time to a baby... and even pledge that they were going to be a major part of his life.

My kid? He can't lose. He just can't lose.

Just one of the guys

Monday Goals and Updates

2012-01-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

I’m going to try out posting five goals per week on Mondays that all have something to do with my 2012 goals. If I don’t, I know that I will surely forget that one of them exists. I know, I know, my track record for completing goals is… poor. But maybe by only posting five it will be a little easier.

1. Read 3 books

I’ve already made headway into one book and I’m hoping to finish it today at some point. I need to read about two books a week to accomplish this goal and, per usual, I am a little behind. On the other hand, I have been reading my Bible every single day and will, more than likely, read through it again this year. I’ve already read about 6 books in the New Testament. So… don’t judge me.

2. Get my lessons rolling

I have three students already. I would love to have five to ten by the time I start next week (I would actually love to have forty and quit my job, but that’s really not realistic, is it?). I also need to get my books and make some plans for my first lessons. Never done this before, but I’m really looking forward to it. I also need to put my office together. It's a hot mess.

3. Do 100 fitness minutes

This is not a very lofty goal for most people, but since I haven’t done anything since delivery, I’m really not sure how much my body can handle right now. I think I’ll break out my WiiFit at some point this week and do some light Yoga or balance exercises. I read somewhere that I can start doing so crunches too. I might walk, but it will be inside somewhere. The mall or on the in laws treadmill or up and down my stairs.

4. Clean out the refrigerator and do the laundry

My fridge is flat out nasty. There are leftovers in there from before the Peanut arrived.

Also, I hate doing the laundry. But the Peanut is out of sleepers (again) and Jordan and I are running out of clothes that don’t have pee or puke on them.

5. Finish “Lost”

We have been working on “Lost” for over a year now. And being parents is hard. We need to finish this and treat ourselves.

As far as what I have done to accomplish my other goals? We have only driven my Monte Carlo once so far this year, I have already written Yanci this month, and I have paid all my loan payments on time this month. I will be making a payment on Mobap later today too. It's going to be a good year.

Post Baby News

2012-01-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are, two and a half weeks past delivery, and can I just say that motherhood? Nothing like I thought it would be. Even with all the well-meaning advice I was given, I can safely say that nothing actually captured the essence of what being a mother is actually like.

I thought that being a mom would change me. That's what people kept saying to me. "It will change your life." "Wait until you become a mom, it changes you." This thought terrified me because, well, I really liked the way that I was. I didn't really want to change. What I found, though, is that it didn't change me. It added on to who I was. I now have this dimension added to me that I didn't have before.

Maybe to say that none of it was true isn't exactly correct. Once while I was pregnant I confided to my mom that I was really terrified that having a baby was going to change Jordan and I's relationship. We had really just gotten in the groove of being married and we had always been best friends. I didn't want us to no longer have time together or for him to just start seeing me as a mom. My mom said, "You're right. It will change it. Because you'll have his child and you'll have a stronger relationship than ever before. I think that is absolutely true. There is a new level in our relationship that we have not had before, and I'm so grateful for it and looking forward to seeing where it leads.

Peanut is doing so awesome. He cries when he's hungry or when we're changing his diaper. That's basically it. Heaven child, I know.


In case you're wondering, the above picture is Jordan's Aunt Amy's doing. If you see any of my pictures and are interested in her work, let me know and I will shoot you her email.

Overall, I can't get over how incredibly blessed I am to be with this great family. I am so overwhelmingly in love with my husband still. In fact, it just seems to get better and better every day. Last night I fell asleep on the couch and he just left me there all night. This might seem like not an awesome thing, but the baby sleeps in our room and even when Jordan volunteers to get up with him in the night, I usually wake up first and just do it. I was too far away to hear the crying and I slept all night long for the first time since my mom stayed over and kept him in the guest room.

And then I have this absolutely perfect little baby boy. I forgot to take my prenatals every day, folic acid made me vomit, I ate fast food 75% of the time, and I refused to take thyroid medication because it made me feel like I was on speed but he's still perfectly healthy in absolutely every way. He had to be vacuumed out, and they told me that he would have a misshapen head for a while and more than likely develop jaundice. He, seriously, had a perfectly round head from birth and no jaundice ever.

Look at that round head!

I don't know how he survived my roller coaster of a pregnancy so unscathed, except by the grace of God.

And because he's Superman

I have been so richly blessed and I am truly grateful. It is really God demonstrating His grace in my life because I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Without a doubt.

If you want more pictures, check out my facebook page in a bit. I will have them uploaded there. www.facebook.com/Motherhoodat24.

12 Goals for 2012

2012-01-03T20:13:00.000-08:00

I know, I really should be posting my birth story or telling all of you curious people all about my Peanut, but since we are now 3 days into 2012, I feel like I should really post my resolutions. I'm stealing the number symmetry from another blogger, but I'm sure she won't mind.

1. Pay off half my student loan debt
Only my husband and I can appreciate what a hefty goal this is, but I think that making it is necessary. We need to get out from underneath these loans in order to start moving forward with our lives and careers. I thought about saying we wanted to pay off half our debt, but then I remembered that we have a 120,000 mortgage. So, for now, this will go a long way towards making us feel better.

2. Read 100 books
Ok, I know that I've already made this goal, but I feel like this year could be different. For one, I'm not putting the stipulation on myself that I can't have ever read it before. I'm also not going to make a list and then check it off; instead, I'm going to write the books down as I read them, so that I can read whatever happens to come into my hands. I'm excited about this goal.

3. Make the Monte Carlo last through 2012
God bless that Monte Carlo. My mom bought it new in 1999 and it has seen 185,000+ miles. Our intention was to buy a new car for me sometime this month. I'm realizing, though, that it's really not necessary at this time. We paid off the husband's car last year, and I just hate the thought of putting another payment on us. Actually, what I would rather not buy a car until all my student loans were paid off, but who knows if my car will last another year. Bless it.

4. Have a full time job in my area of expertise
I have wasted a lot of time since being married moping around wondering when I will get the chance to act again. No more. I'm taking action. Starting in January, I will be starting some voice/acting/piano students. I'm hoping to have enough students by the summer to quit my full time job and just teach what I love. I think that would mean having about 20 to 25 students as well as working part time at the clinic. Even if that doesn't happen, I think I can have enough students by the end of the year to tell people proudly that I have my own acting studio.

5. Return to pre-baby weight
Pre-baby I weighed 135 pounds. I reached 180 pounds at my last weigh in at the hospital. In the two weeks since I gave birth, I've lost 26 pounds... which is mind blowingly awesome. So current weight is 154 and I need to lose 19 pounds. Obviously, this is totally doable in a year. I hope to get it done early so that I have some momentum to keep going the rest of the year.

6. Run three 5ks
I had started running right before I got pregnant, and that obviously got put on hold for 9 months. I'm excited to start up again- I've really missed it. I think that 3 races is a really reasonable goal.

7. Go on vacation
We have gotten in the habit of taking quickie vacations that end up being more stressful that anything because we haven't saved for it or planned well. I hope to end that this year and take a nice vacation as a family.

8. Read my Bible daily
I'm not going to waste time trying to figure out exactly how much I should read or what precisely it should be or split hairs over whether I should journal it. I'm going to start small and say that even if I only have the strength or sanity to read one verse, that's ok. As long as I crack open my Bible at some point in the day, that's enough.

9. Have $10,000 in savings
I don't know if this is realistic with the previous monetary goal, but I'm going to do my darndest to make sure that this happens. If we can accomplish this, I would be ok buying a car next year because we would have a considerable down payment.

10. Keep up with my house
I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm not going to say that my house will never be dirty, because it will. But I do want to make sure that it doesn't stink... which it does from time to time. I want to make sure that I never feel totally overwhelmed.

11. Write to Yanci once a month
We adopted a child through Compassion International in December. I want to make sure that she knows how special and loved she is by us. She is really so precious. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her picture.

12. Cook more
This goal shouldn't be hard, considering that I never cook now. That's all I have to say about that.

He's Here!

2011-12-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

I have been totally MIA, but there is a really good reason for it.

The Peanut arrived on Wednesday at 6:16 P.M. 8 pounds 10 ounces, 21 inches long. We were both fine... albeit a little traumatized. My epidural didn't work and he had to be vacuumed out by his poor little head. I will post a longer birth story at some point. Right now it's hard to typing when my fingers could be tickling his little face.

A definitive moment

2011-12-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

I could blame this on hormones-- and I think I will just a little bit-- but I had a major turning point in how I viewed myself and The Peanut this week.

I have been so self-consumed throughout this pregnancy. Part of that, I know, comes from the simple surprise of it all. I had made so many plans for myself that did not include a baby for at least five more years. I was a newlywed and completely in love with my husband and content to spend the next few years living with him alone. And then that pink line.

You see, I struggle anyway with the idea that I will never amount to anything. Sometimes I believe that lie, usually at night or when I'm by myself, and I spend at least a few hours in absolute misery because I've always preached that there is a plan for all of us and that it's important. And I believe that for everyone on the planet, except myself sometimes.

When I found out I was pregnant and we started telling people, one of the first things that someone said to me was, "Just wait. You won't be Kasey anymore. You'll be so and so's mom." I know that this person thought it was a compliment (honestly, I don't even remember who said it anymore), but it horrified me. Absolutely horrified me. I didn't want my entire existence to revolve around anyone else, even my child. It still horrifies me to a certain extent. Because I have to believe that God still has plans for me outside of motherhood.

It might be that kind of thinking that causes moms to not know what to do with themselves anymore after the kids go to college.

So I fought the idea. Eventually, I realized that I was in my 7th month of pregnancy and when someone called me "mom" it immediately sent chills down my spine (and not in a good way). My immediate thought was always "I'm not a mom yet!" And usually this interaction was followed by a quick trip to a restroom to regain my composure and pinch myself to be sure that I was still Kasey, and not just somebody's incubator.

So when I realized that the birth of my child was only a month or so away, I changed the name of my blog. And it took everything within me to do so. I didn't want to think about motherhood at 24. I didn't want motherhood until at least 28. But I knew I needed to face my fear head on. And this was the way to do it.

Then this week happened. The week before The Peanut arrives. Nothing like the Lord to wait until the last minute, right?

I viewed a blog of a friend of mine who lost her precious daughter just moments after birth. They whisked her out of the room so quickly that my friend didn't see her and ended up never seeing her daughter alive. I looked at the pictures. And I cried and cried. And for the first time since I've been pregnant, I actively and genuinely prayed for Noah. For his health and for his safety. It's awful to say that I didn't pray for him this entire nine months, but it's the blatant and honest truth. It took me looking at an awful situation and realizing how unworthy I am of this blessing of life. How selfish I've been-- resenting being pregnant when there are many women around me that are wishing that they could have what I have. And so I begged God to make him healthy, so I could have another chance to love this little being.

I know that hormones bring you up and down, but that experience has left me with such an appreciation for this child that I didn't know before in all of my pregnancy. It's also given me a new found will to make my own dreams come true so that he will have a mom that he can be truly proud of and can look up to as an example of overcoming the odds.

Weekend Recap- Madrigal Feaste and Feed My Starving Children

2011-12-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

What a crazy and busy weekend. It was so great, though. I'm really enjoying maternity leave, although I have to say that it's ending up being more like a vacation because The Peanut still hasn't arrived on the scene.

I did want to show off some pictures from the high school's Madrigal Feaste. It was a blast. Here's some rehearsal photos:

Friday night I got to see the lovely production. But I would say the highlight of the evening was the shout out to The Peanut. It might be a little hard to understand, but it's the thought that counts. :)

That's the Husband, way back in the background of the picture. He's directing the handbell choir

These were our table wenches, the "Holey, Moley Sisters. They were afraid of my camera.


It's really dark, but that's a good friend of ours in the stockades for "pinching the wenches"

Saturday morning we headed to the park center to take part in Feed My Starving Children. If you don't know what this organization is, you really should check it out. It's an awesome organization, with 93% of all proceeds going directly to feed children around the world. It only costs 24 cents per meal, which is really pretty phenomenal. The goal for our (very small) region was to pay for and pack 600,000 meals this weekend. 632,016 meals ended up being packed, which is so awesome. That means that 1,732 children will get to eat for a whole year because of our small community. I definitely challenge you to do it if it's offered in your community, and to give to it if it's not. It's so rewarding.

Orientation

Don't let those smiles fool you

These guys mean business

The packing stations

Hearing the numbers so far and learning about some awesome kids that get to eat now because of us!

Husband and I rocking our hairnets for Jesus!

It was a great weekend, rounded out by a trip to see my dad for his birthday and hearing a friend of ours play at a concert in town. Way too busy to update, but I think that this long long long long post definitely made up for lost time.

In other news, I really need a nice camera so that I can stop torturing all of you with the point and shoot. Gross pictures.

Countdown

2011-12-09T20:07:00.001-08:00

14 Days til my due date!!!

Madrigal Feaste

2011-12-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to the local high school's madrigal feaste. It was spectacular and lots and lots of fun. With lots and lots of food. I shall post some pictures from it tomorrow. Tonight, however, I think I will just be content with laziness and shut the computer to cuddle with the husband.

Wassail! What, ho! Huzzah!

Thursday Book Review

2011-12-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

You know, this blog basically started as a reading blog. And I failed a ~~little~~ lot with that. I kind of hope to remedy that to a certain extent, even though the blog has now taken a new (and really, better) direction. I really hate to not finish what I started, even though I have miserably missed my deadline of one year to read 100 books. Besides, I really believe that moms still need to set expectations of themselves that have nothing to do with baby. I want The Peanut to know that his mom can accomplish big tasks. And this is really just a place to start.

This past week I finally finished "Baby Wise." It was recommended to us by approximately 800,000 people. The subtitle is "Giving your baby the gift of night time sleep." I'm already wary, since I've been oh so politely told by many women that my days of sleeping are forever gone. Why does everyone like to pass their misery on to the next pregnant woman. Maybe I will sleep! You don't know!

....ahem...

The book really is great, though. It's a step by step guide through feeding and sleeping times. It gives you approximate baby weights by age and how many times in a day your baby should poo (which is something every pregnant woman should know). Not only this, but there are CHARTS in the back of the book for you to keep track of how many times your baby has poo'd! It's like a miracle in paperback.

I would definitely suggest that if you read this book you answer the "review" questions at the end of each chapter. I didn't, because I thought, "How hard could it be to just find the chapter that it's in and look it up?" Well, considering that the chapters overlap (the way that, really, good self-help book chapters should) it could be a major pain.

I would also suggest that you read the next to last chapter "Parenting Potpourri" at a time in your pregnancy when you are not feeling particularly vulnerable. There was a section on SIDS in that chapter, and I almost had a meltdown.

**Husband and I are sitting in the family room reading together quietly**

Me: **random outburst** OUR BABY IS GOING TO DIE!!!
Husband: **slowly looks up from book**
Me: I mean it. I can't remember to do all this stuff!
Husband: What?
Me: EVERYTHING causes SIDS! Everything!! I can't leave a bottle with him in his crib? How am I ever going to remember that? What if I lay him on his back, but he rolls over anyway? He'll suffocate in his Snoopy comforter!
Husband: **pats me on the leg, slowly turns back to book**
Me: **weeps in corner of couch**

Overall, though, reading it WAS a pretty enjoyable experience, although I think I already ascribed to that view point anyway. It's always good to feel reaffirmed, though.

New layout!

2011-12-07T12:35:00.001-08:00

Do you dig it? Hate it? Opinions, please!

Whiz Cleaning Wednesday

2011-12-07T07:59:00.000-08:00

I've decided to try a kind of experiment. It's so easy to get bogged down with housework and chores, and I know that some women just want to scream all the time because it just doesn't seem like it's ever done. In fact, some women totally work themselves to the bone trying to make sure that their house is spotless.

Just a disclaimer: I am not a spotless house kind of person. I used to be, when I was in high school and my first year of college. But I soon realized that when you're sharing a living space with others you only have three options: 1. Clean up after everyone 2. Be the crazy witch lady who yells at everyone all the time 3. Loosen up and live

I decided on option three. And it's suited me well so far. Of course, things tend to get behind a lot easier because of this attitude. And that's why I'm experimenting with a new plan.

This week the experiment was to clean like a mad person for 3 hours, one day a week. Just imagine that you JUST found out that someone (preferably someone that you want to impress with your beautiful house) is coming over. In three hours. This plan should be fairly easy to maintain- given that my child isn't colicky. Basically, it's just necessary to remember to give yourself forgiveness if you can't get in all 3 hours every single week. You will probably make it up some other week.

So, yesterday at 12:30 I began. I took pictures... and I'm a little ashamed to share them, but I will, for the experiment's sake.

Living Room Before


Living Room After

This was really just a matter of picking up a couple things and hanging a stocking. No big. Took about 2 minutes.

Breakfast Nook Before


Breakfast Nook After

It doesn't look like it, but this part probably took the longest. After the baby shower on Saturday, we had so much stuff! And I didn't want to just move this to the baby's room for look's sake. So all the bags that are gone from the floor had their contents removed and put away. It took me about 45 minutes before I finally decided I had to move on.

Kitchen Counter Before

Kitchen Counter After

Kitchen Sink Before

Kitchen Sink After

The kitchen. Oh the kitchen.

I got the counter cleaned off pretty quickly and then went to work on the sink. I couldn't fit all the dishes in the dishwasher... because I hadn't done dishes in so long. I'm bad. So I did what I could, then rinsed out the rest so that when I emptied the dishwasher I could just throw them in. At least that looks respectable. And it doesn't smell bad.

My Office Before

My Office After?

Didn't really do a whole lot with this. I just couldn't get to it. Which is a crying shame because it looks awful. If you'll notice, though, I felt bad for my office, so I did take the brown paper bag full of hangers and put it away and I threw away a plastic filing cabinet that was broken. Go me!

Master Bedroom Before (yes, there are clothes in that bassinet)

Master Bedroom after

Yes, I am ashamed that we had piled clothes into the baby's bassinet. It's so "Hoarders" of us. But can I just say that my husband did it? Also, they were clean clothes. So at least we have that going for us.

Laundry Basket Before

Laundry Basket After

Will the shame never end??? Now, not all of that laundry is done, mind you, but I did get three loads dried and folded. And all the dirty clothes are where they belong- in the laundry room. Where I can keep people out.

I would say that that's a pretty successful 3 hours. Especially for a very pregnant woman.

The other great thing about giving yourself a time limit on cleaning is that you tend to prioritize what needs to be done and when. You begin to combine trips up and down the stairs with missions to do other things. It really does help get a lot more done in a lot less time.

Am I suggesting that three hours a week alone is enough to keep a house sparkling clean? No. I will be trying to mostly keep the dishes washed and things picked up a little better than they were so that I can keep moving forward. But I don't see a need for mothers to guilt trip themselves over not deep cleaning every day. I am hoping that with this plan I can have a decent place for my child to live as well as a decent life outside of cleaning.

Do you have a clean regiment? What has worked for you in the past?

Facebook Following

2011-12-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

If you would like to follow me on facebook, just give this a click.

I'm trying to figure out how to put the "like" button on this page, but, honestly, I don't quite understand the instructions. If anyone can help me, please drop me a comment or an email!

Part One: Baby Shower, Part Two: Something men don't want to read

2011-12-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

A recap of the last couple days? Don't mind if I do.

Saturday after I posted my enlightening blog about sleeping positions, I went to my second and final baby shower. It was awesome. Lots and lots of lovely people. Lots of lovely presents. And check out these decorations!

Is that not the cutest baby shower in the world? Well, of course I think it is. The husband and I met (for all intents and purposes) during the show "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." He was Schroeder, I was Sally, it was love ~~at first sight~~ three years later. Since then, I've done the production a total of three times and was also in a production of "Snoopy!", so you could definitely say that Peanuts has been a pretty consistent marker in our lives since 2006.

Also, would you please LOOK AT THIS CAKE?

Gah! It just slays me.

It pretty much goes without saying that we made out like bandits, but in case there was any doubt at all, here are some pictures of all our crap.

Yeah. We did good.

The nursery seems to be in good shape as well.

So, crib, bassinet, changing table, and car seat? Check.

All we need now is a baby.

Which leads me to the section of the blog that should make all men run in terror. It certainly did my husband. So if you continue to read, don't say I didn't warn you. Because I did.

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment (all the men that thought they could handle whatever I was about to say just fled the blogosphere). It was one of THOSE doctor's appointments. And, you know, I was actually a little excited about it. See how far we've come, how far we have to go still. Get a general idea of when The Peanut will arrive. Besides that, I had had one the week before. What did I have to fear?

After getting back to my lonely, cold exam room and stripping down (by the way, is there even a point to those little cloths they give you to cover up with? They might as well rip off a sheet of cellophane and hand it to you. Sheesh) I literally had time to read an entire issue of People magazine before my doctor got there. She finally ran in and immediately got right down to business. And I when I say business, I mean business. There was actually a point in the exam when she said, "Whoa. Baby doesn't like that." What? You have your hand in so far that the BABY felt you and hit you? So she finally finishes, she simply says, "One centimeter." I went through all that for one lousy centimeter?

So I finally get out of there, grab my husband, and run out the door. Well, not run. More like waddle like I'd been riding a horse for three days straight. Then I hand him the keys and say, "Will you please drive? I feel slightly traumatized."

You know the seven stages of grief? I think I had the seven stages of post cervical exam.

Shock
Contractions
Profound sadness
Loss of innocence
Urge to beat husband because, really, this is his fault
Anger
Fits of uncontrollable laughter caused by anti-jokes (Why did the clown fall out of the swing? Because he was shot in the face) and pictures of baby shower cakes.

I still don't know what exactly happened yesterday, but I'm hoping the seven stages will help me eventually piece it all back together.

Rock Paper Scissors

2011-12-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

When you are pregnant, before going to sleep you must decide between three ways of laying down. Let me explain.

If you are having heartburn, you need to be propped up.

If you want to breathe, you need to lay on your side.

If your feet and ankles are swelling, people demand that you prop your feet up. Demand.

The problem is, if you did all of these things at once (which most of us really need to do), you end up looking like this:

Or, if you're really confused:

So it really becomes a game of rock, paper, scissors every night. It's a rotating game, really, since you never know when your desire to breathe will overcome the desire not to throw up stomach acid a little in your mouth which trumps that you don't want to tell people that, no, you didn't prop your feet up.

Well, we're off to the races today. First Saturday in December is when we celebrate the husband's grandma's birthday every year and this year we've also decided to cram in the baby shower. Ah. Life.

God Agrees with Me. Read About the Fall.

2011-12-02T15:23:00.000-08:00

I had a chat with a friend of mine earlier today. I'm finding that it may be necessary to remind older moms what first trimester was like and to educate those who have never enjoyed the wonderland that is throwing up in a mexican restaurant bathroom. I also think that this post is important to all those poor mothers-to-be who feel like people just don't understand how they feel. I do. I understand how you feel. And I have to write this post before post-deliver endorphins attack my brain and take away all the memories I have of every terrible thing about pregnancy.

I found out I was pregnant because I took a pregnancy test as a joke. No kidding. It was not magical (although... I'm not sure how peeing on a stick can be that magical to begin with). I was blessed to have a good friend there to keep me from throwing myself down the stairs, though. So that was a definite plus.

First trimester is hard enough, but I have a serious special place in my heart for all of you out there who weren't planning a pregnancy. Some pre-moms have the opportunity to struggle through letting go of their independence and, really, dignity (and if you've ever been to weekly gyno appointments, you know exactly what I'm talking about). Not you. You get to wade through a sea of hormones, trying desperately to find that island of sanity so that you can accurately assess your situation and how your life is about to change. And when you do find that moment? You cry. And then you cry because you're crying. And then you cry because you're a bad mom. Yes, all of these things happen.

Then comes the sickness. For those of you who had no sickness at all and bursts of energy, I say this: Shut up, because we all hate you. You might still be our friend, but we hate you. Would you say to someone who had no legs that you are so happy that you entered a jump roping competition? No. You would not. So don't say it to us. And don't tell us to eat crackers. God love you, we know that crackers make people feel better. We aren't brain dead, just... swimming through a cloud of intense emotions. Instead, ask us if there's anything we require. Such as crackers. Or soda. Or ice cream. Or money.

So first-trimesterers, unite! Start letting people know how you feel! Don't just lay down and take it! Well, you can lay down, since every day you will feel like you have just ran the New York Marathon after eating 3 bowls of clam chowder, but don't take it! It's ok to let people know that, while you totally believe that they felt that way during their pregnancy, you most certainly do not. And loving pregnancy does not equal loving baby. Loving baby equals loving baby. If they protest anymore, refer them to Genesis while shouting, "God agrees with me!!!!!!!!"

Maternity Leave: Day 2

2011-11-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

I went ahead and started maternity leave early because of all the contractions this little bug is giving me. I hope he decides to come a little early so that I don't waste 3 weeks without him here.

As a result of said maternity leave, I have decided that what I would really like to do is to become a stay at home mom. Not really because it's a noble profession (even though it is) but more because I love getting up in the morning and working at the house and KNOWING that I do not have to work at another job later. I wish we could afford it.

The only thing that could possibly make this feeling go away is a great job in St. Louis that has to do with my degree. Because leaving the house to go to work doesn't really feel like work when you love what you're doing.

Also because of maternity leave, this has finally happened:

Still a couple odds and ends that need to be picked up

Snoopy Crib and changing table

Clothes and diapers all put away

It looks great and actually got me excited instead of causing me to be paralyzed with fear. This is a positive step, people.

The Groper List

2011-11-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

First of all, can I just say that I have been having intense contractions on and off for about two weeks? Can I say how frustrating that is? Because they need to be REGULAR! This morning my mom called and asked if I was having any pain. I said in a depressed way, "Not really." And she said "Shoot." Isn't it terribly sad when you're mourning your lack of pain? I wish I had severe stomach cramping lasting for 1 minute every 4 to 5 minutes. Then I wish that I would basically wet myself. It would make me the happiest woman alive.

Now, on to what I came here to tell you about. If you are already pregnant and have told anyone about your bundle on the way, you already know these people. If not, then consider yourself warned.

There are several different types of belly gropers, but two stand out above the rest.

1. The hesitant groper
This type of groper constitutes almost all males (including my dad) and most women with whom you are only acquaintances. This is the most considerate groper, because they are not sure whether or not you are actually in the mood to have a hand on your stomach and are "dipping their toes in the water" so to speak. Fingertips only for this groper.
The problem with this groper is that they fail to realize that while your stomach may be protruding 8 inches from the rest of you, it still does contain nerve endings. And if you're ticklish at all, the intense need to slap the person immediately washes over you. Be warned, though, said slapping or even quickly movements away will send the hesitant groper into a beaten puppy state. Which will make your pregnancy hormones overproduce, sending them cascading out of your eyes in the form of tears. And before you know it, you're apologizing to the person who just rubbed their fingertips all over your belly like a weirdo.

2. The petter
This person is the person you run from at the grocery store. A glimpse of you will simple incite a squeal of glee and the person will run to you with their hand outstretched as if a baby magnet was implanted in her palm. They will then stand with you in the middle of Wal Mart rubbing your belly as if it were a magic lamp and talking to you about arbitrary things.
The problem with this sort of groper is obvious. The awkward level goes through the roof. Besides the fact that you're generally already hot and uncomfortable. Sometimes this person just needs to be reminded that they are not actually touching a baby. They are actually touching your stomach.

One Year Mark

2011-11-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

Well, today marks one year since I started this crazy journey. I did not succeed, but I still feel really successful. I'm going to keep the list of books up and still cross them off as I go, but I have so much more going on in my life now that I just think setting these nearly unattainable goals is distracting me from what is really important.

I have been considering changing the name to my blog for a while. I love to read, and I have really missed running, but I think I'm turning a corner in my life where these things are not going to take the kind of priority that they used to have.

What I actually have been wanting to write about really centers more around pregnancy and motherhood- especially as it pertains to my generation. Throughout this pregnancy, I have been plagued with the idea that I'm all alone in how I feel. This isn't because there aren't a wealth of forums and blogs out there about being a mother, but because they are really missing the frank-ness that I have felt throughout this pregnancy. It's not all roses. Sometimes when someone tells you, "It'll all be worth it," you really want to punch them in the teeth. I understand that it was totally worth it for you. I really really believe and hope that I will feel the same way. But does it always feel like it will be worth it?

Sometimes it's really a matter of the time we live in now. Thirty years ago I imagine that adoption was not as popular as it is now. In fact, from what I gather, it seemed to be a last resort. But now, it's basically in vogue. So when you're throwing up in the toilet at El Torreros and basically scarring the little girl for life in the stall next to you, sometimes you wonder how this can all be worth it when I could fly to Nigeria and basically buy a child.

I know it's a lot harder than that-- but time consuming just doesn't compare to miserable suffering in my book. Because, let's be honest, for most of us, pregnancy is gross.

I have finally, after a long, long, almost 9 month journey, begun to realize that my child is precious. I can't help it that it took a while, and after much prayer I finally felt like God was telling me that it was ok to have struggled with pregnancy and motherhood as much as I did. No one can ever make me feel guilty about my feelings. Child bearing is really quire terrifying- even more so when you didn't expect to be harboring one for another 5 years or so.

I'm sure I'll revisit a lot of these themes later on, but I did want to give a little introduction as to the path of the blog (probably from now on). It will be interlaced with jobs and goals and other family and friend matters, but I'm realizing now that the little peanut will always be at the center of my life from now on.

It's feeling a little more ok every day.

Revamp for a New Life

2011-11-04T07:47:00.000-07:00

There is no way I will finish reading by November 14.

And I've decided that that is ok.

In one year I have read the Bible, a Jane Austen novel, Shakespeare, and a wealth of devotionals and just flat out interesting books. I am not ashamed.

I will keep reading and I will keep the list up so that when I finish one hundred books I know it. I'm really just proud of what I have done in any case. Daily life has just taken over all my spare time. Once again, that's ok and even awesome. I started this list because I wanted to feel like I had accomplished something in a year. I did without reading all 100 books.

We are only 52 days away from a new baby and I have decided that that is 52 days to start a new life where a baby will feel like it's being raised by grown ups. I want Noah to see that his mom knows where she is headed and how she will go about accomplishing it. I'm done picking up arbitrary things to complete myself or make people pat me on the back. From now on, this blog is all about honesty. How I succeeded, how I failed. It's going to be real. And, from there, hopefully I will develop some sort of theme that could get some readership. But if I don't, that's ok too.

Something I did want to share with anyone still reading (if you're not, I totally don't blame you), is a website I've stumbled upon that's really helped me reevaluate what is important and what all I can get done during the day. It's www.dailyfeats.com. It takes average everyday things that we sometimes put off and assigns point values to them. Every 30 days you can redeem your points for gift cards ranging from $10 at Starbucks to $50 at American Airlines. I am more than determined to pay for me, Noah, and Jordan to fly to Virginia for Jordan's graduation from Liberty University. The next step will be using it to buy Christmas presents for family! Check it out. Even if you don't use it as religiously as I do (I get a little bit obsessive), it would be worth it to every once in a while reach 5,000 points and be able to grab a coffee with a friend (and pay for their coffee!) or buy an album from iTunes.

I think that's it for me today. I have many planned feats today that I want to make sure I accomplish! Love those points!

Monday Goals and Updates

2011-09-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

I had a full weekend of reading to try to catch up. Ideally, I would get back to only having to read one book every two or three days, but time is running so short that I'm not sure that will be attainable.

I know what anyone reading this must be thinking. It seems worthless to read 100 books if you're just going to skim over them. But what has been really useful through all of this is the fact that I have been introduced now to several great authors that I would not have read otherwise. And, of course, there will be the feeling of accomplishment when November 14 rolls around and I have read all the books on my list.

I am a ~~little~~ lot sad that my weekend is over and I don't seem to have another one cleared off for the kind of reading I did this weekend (I finished approximately 2.5 books a day), but because of this weekend, the minimum is now at 1.14 books per day. That is so attainable I could just cry. :)

This Week's Goals

Read 10 books. The goal I really wanted to make was to get to the halfway point this week, but I am tired of setting goals that are just flat unattainable for me, even if they do sound really awesome. I think that 10 books is doable and is just about the minimum if I want to get this finished.
Set a budget with my husband. We are both getting our paychecks this week and I cannot think of a better time for setting down some goals and guidelines for ourselves in the upcoming months.
Complete my office. My office is the last thing to be unpacked from moving all the way back in May. This needs to be done, and now I've told the world about it, so I better get moving on it!
Finish my baby blanket. Noah's little blanket is coming along really nicely, and I don't think it will take more than a couple of hours to finish it up. As soon as I can find my cord, pictures will be uploaded!

I hope I can complete all of this. It does seem like a lot, but I think with some spousal support, we should be able to knock out 2 and 3 pretty quickly. :)

What are your goals for this week? Do you tend to set your goals high, even to the point of being unattainable?
Days left: 56
Books to read: 64

Trimming Down the Book List

2011-09-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

November 14 is D-Day.

I have the next three days completely off work and I can't imagine a better project to spend my time on than getting back into my reading groove. Admittedly, summer has been really difficult for me, starting with finding out I was pregnant and being attacked by the morning sickness and then I just could not bring myself to just sit and read for extended periods of time. I don't know if it was the weather or just being in a new house that was begging to be organized. But I think I'm back and I really really believe that I can actually finish this thing if I just log enough hours into it in this home stretch.

59 days left to read about 67 books. You know, I really think it might still be doable. Granted, it would have been a lot more fun to have set a steady pace for myself, but I'm still pretty proud. I've finished off a couple of books today already and I realized while looking at my list that I've started at least 3 of the books on there already.

I'm starting to look towards the future a little in terms of goals for after November 14th. I mean, after all, a blog has to have some sort of purpose, right? I think I may give myself the holidays off, but after peanut gets here, I am thinking I may start training for some marathons. Anyone want to be my marathon buddy?

A New Era

2011-09-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I spent $240 at Wal Mart on groceries.

Before everyone thinks I am a crazy, our fridge was completely empty AND I have decided it's time to turn over a new leaf. I have been reading healthy living blogs for months (check out http://shegigglesandwiggles.blogspot.com/, http://backtoherroots.com/, and http://ohsheglows.com/). These blogs have been fabulous inspiration for me and have started to make me realize the unhealthy way I have been running my kitchen. We eat out way way way too much and every single thing that we own is processed beyond reason. So our kitchen is undergoing a makeover.

Cassie at Back to Her Roots suggested arranging my fridge by food group. So that's what I did. Angela has started a movement with her green monsters (www.greenmonstermovement.com), so I mixed up my very first one this morning.

Not too sure about it...

It kind of looks like kryptonite.

And! I drank it!

Here we go

Down the hatch!

And I loved it! Nobody was more surprised or grossed out than my husband.

Courtney at Just Like Jello is a pretty avid runner. Guess what I'll be doing after this baby makes his grand appearance? Maybe we'll just go together. I don't suppose anybody wants to get me one of these:


http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-F-I-T-Jogging-Stroller/dp/B002X7DDM0?SubscriptionId=AKIAJ63OA3RAHSFIL24Q&tag=loft-js-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B002X7DDM0

The days of unhealthy living and wondering why I can't loose weight? Gone. The days of feeling tired for no good reason? Also gone. This is a new leaf and I think it's going to stick.

PS Sorry for all of the terribly crappy pictures. I have a (cheap) camera, but I can't find the cord to upload pictures at the moment. So you're stuck with the pictures I take with my Macbook.

Always busy busy busy

2011-08-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I have about a month to finish this crazy goal. I don't think that it will be entirely possible with the sheer amount of Shakespeare that I have down to read, so you will probably be seeing this replaced with some lighter fiction that won't take as long to read.

In other news, I quit working full time at the doctor's office (although I still give them around 8 hours a week of filing) and am back at Family Video. I love it. I missed it. I am a much happier person because of it. Everyone says so.

I'm trying to revamp my Pampered Chef career, so if anyone has need of some PC items, please do let me know!

Acting Out! is finally really up and running. We will have auditions for God's Favorite next Tuesday. I am super super excited.

I think this blog needs a revamp soon. Will work on that as soon as life isn't crazy anymore. :)

Falling behind, but filling out

2011-07-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I have been totally MIA for months. I hate that, but I totally have the best excuse ever.

I found out I was pregnant about two days after the last post.

Whoops.

So there was a lot of adjusting to do, as well as a secret to keep. And by the time I was ready to let the world know my secret, we had moved into our new home and had no internet at all. It's been killing me slowly.

The bad news for my reading is that 1. I've been way too busy and 2. the first three months, even reading made me totally ill. So I've read about 3 books since the last time I updated. Lame. And it puts me way way way behind.

I read "It" by Stephen King. I don't know that I would recommend it. I don't understand the necessity of his numerous allusions to body parts and functions and his constant references to anything sexual at all. It's really kind of disgusting and distracting to the plot for me. It was an ok book, but I will never read it again. And for all the animal lovers out there, I would definitely NOT recommend it. It had a scene in it that kind of scarred me for life.

I also bought and read a book called "Escape." If you are in to autobiographies, I TOTALLY recommend it. It's a bout a woman who escaped from a fundamentalist Mormon cult. It's harrowing, really, and makes you really want to do something about it to save these poor children. Honestly, it's hard to believe that all of this happened in the United States no later than the 80's. It's genuinely fascinating and heartfelt and very truthful.

I started a book called Miss Peregrine's School for Peculiar Children. It is fine, although.... sometimes I really think that I could have written it myself. The plot isn't complicated and, really, moves along pretty slowly. I'm hoping that I can breeze through it.

If anyone is still reading, do you have any suggestions for good reads under 200 pages in length? I'm going to have to cut some Shakespeare or else there is no way I will finish this list in a year.

Countdown update!

2011-04-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

I thought I was falling behind, but I figured out that I still just need to read a book every 2.5 days in order to finish. I'm pretty sure that's the same as the last time I counted it all up.

I'm working on my Shakespeare now. This has tremendous potential to put me way way way behind. But I won't let it. I didn't realize that some of these plays have multiple "parts" to them and so it's taking me a little long to get through my very first one (King Henry the Sixth) than I would like.

Tomorrow I will finish KH6 and read something easy, like Michael Caine's book about film acting. I would really love to read enough that by the end of this week I only need to read one book every 4 or 5 days. That would certainly take the pressure off.

Day: 162
Books to read: 79

And another two!

2011-04-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

~~Finish "The Wednesday Sisters" (I'm so close!)~~
~~Finish crocheting this baby blanket (that is NOT for me!)~~
Deep clean my house
Go grocery shopping
Do all the laundry
Raise the remaining $1400 to get us to Joseph!
~~Get to the bank and sign some paperwork~~
~~Read "Holy Discontent"~~
Finish "It" (which, by the way, is a lot longer than I thought it would be!)
Run. A lot.

I also ran today and did almost all the laundry AND went to several area businesses asking them to buy ad space for Joseph. I also read a minuscule amount of "It," probably only about 5 pages. I'd say, overall, I had a really productive day. Not going to lie, though, I really doubt that I will finish "It" by the end of the week.

I loved "The Wednesday Sisters" and would recommend it to anyone, especially for a good summer read. I hate to say too much, for fear of giving it away, but the book really made me miss my good friends I made in college. I am in the process of making new ones. But the really good friendships, as most of you probably know, take years. And I am impatient for them.

"Holy Discontent" was also good. It was a breeze to read, it only took about two hours to get through. I would also recommend this book for people who want to start serving the Lord in crazy and outlandish ways. "Holy Discontent" is a good introduction to living that kind of life. Please don't stop with this book, though. It only touches the surface of what it means to live a life of unwavering servant hood to the Lord. After this book, I would recommend you pick up "Crazy Love" and read it immediately. It talks about the same subject matter, except it basically removes "you" from the equation. Great great great book.

Tomorrow I head back to the grindstone at the office. Yay. But tomorrow evening I have to myself (Jordan will be at praise team practice). Finishing the laundry is priority number one.

Two Down...

2011-04-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

Finish "The Wednesday Sisters" (I'm so close!)
~~Finish crocheting this baby blanket (that is NOT for me!)~~
Deep clean my house
Go grocery shopping
Do all the laundry
Raise the remaining $1400 to get us to Joseph!
~~Get to the bank and sign some paperwork~~
Read "Holy Discontent"
Finish "It" (which, by the way, is a lot long than I thought it would be!)
Run. A lot.

It's a good start. :)

Sunday To Accomplish List

2011-04-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

In case anyone was wondering how far along I am, I actually updated my reading list. 81 books to go. I'm afraid to count the days tonight. So I won't.

I'm going to start a tradition on Sunday nights of posting my "To Accomplish" list. Hopefully it will keep me a little more in check as the week goes on. Usually I try to put down about twenty items and I never ever finish it. Let's go with ten really rather large projects.

Finish "The Wednesday Sisters" (I'm so close!)
Finish crocheting this baby blanket (that is NOT for me!)
Deep clean my house
Go grocery shopping
Do all the laundry
Raise the remaining $1400 to get us to Joseph!
Get to the bank and sign some paperwork
Read "Holy Discontent"
Finish "It" (which, by the way, is a lot long than I thought it would be!)
Run. A lot.

I think I will be running my very first 5k on April 30th. And by run I actually mean run for a while and then walk. I think I'm going to set my goal time pretty high at 45 minutes. I got through 2 miles on my first run out of the year in 36 minutes exactly. I think that this is attainable and I don't want to be discouraged on my very first 5k. I kind of wonder how much adrenaline will kick in and if I'll be able to run a lot longer than usual. We'll see.

Just found out what our tax return will be. Very exciting.

Also closing in on our closing date for our brand new house. So much excitement!

I will be a better blogger.... I will be a better blogger...

2011-04-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

     Life has been so incredibly intense in the last month that I'm really not altogether sure where to begin. I wish I could say that I had read fifty books. But I can't. I can't say that. I think I read four.

     My job is absolutely swamping my life at the moment. I am purposefully choosing not to get into details at the present time, but let's just say it's a lot of overtime and a lot of exhausted nights. Which is why I haven't read a whole lot.

     I DID, however, read Rob Bell's book. For those of you who follow me on facebook, you will know that, yes, I commented on it without reading it. I could defend that position all day with statements such as, "If Rob Bell didn't want us to believe that he thought everyone was going to heaven, how do you explain that video?" I could tell you that, really, I'm commenting on the fact that a well known pastor purposely confused millions of people in order to sell a book. But instead of doing that, I'm going to tell you what I thought about the book itself and move on.

     "Love Wins" begins as, basically, a rant. Rob Bell is obviously very upset with the evangelical world and their point of view that a loving God would send people to hell for an eternity. He comments for an entire chapter on a picture that his grandma had hanging in her house depicting people walking on a cross across a chasm in order to reach heaven. Ignoring what this painting obviously means (which is that Christ laid down his life so that the gap between us and God could be crossed), he instead focuses on the small number of people entering heaven and the fact that heaven looks stupid to him.

     He goes on to write a chapter about heaven, in which he insists that heaven is here and now as well as in the beyond. He discusses hell then, saying that it's our choices that basically bring us into our own personal hell, not a literal hell of flames and gnashing of teeth. Then he writes for five chapters about how great God is for not making us go to hell. That is, basically, the extent of his writing.

     Anyone who is a die-hard Rob Bell fan will surely disagree with me on this, but I would submit to you that this book is nothing but Rob Bell's fantastical ideas about how he wished the Bible worked. He blatantly ignores parts of the character of God (remember how God used to open up the earth and swallow people down in it? Remember the time that God drowned everyone in the world except for eight people and some animals?) and chooses to highlight, instead, the parts of God that he finds palatable. This, my friends, is idolatry, plain and simple. If you love God, you have to love every bit of Him, even the parts that you do not understand. If you think you have to understand God or that you do understand God already, then you think way too highly of yourself.
     He lists the places in the Bible where Hell is mentioned, insisting that it is almost never mentioned, even though he makes several references to it. Jesus, especially, mentions Hell. In fact, he mentions Hell more than Heaven. He wanted to make sure that everyone understood that it was a real threat to them. He was concerned that they just weren't getting it. And, in listing all the reasons that Hell doesn't really exist in the literal sense that we think of, he neglects many of the primary scriptures which lead the rest of us to the believe that Hell is real and some will spend eternity there (ex. when Jesus discusses that narrow is the gate that leads to salvation and very few will enter by it, but wide is the gate that leads to destruction.).

     I could go on and on about the logical fallacies in Rob Bell's book, but I won't. I do, however, want to end with this. If you have not grappled with the idea of Hell, then you just haven't dwelled on it long enough. It's an awful thought that is most definitely hard to reconcile with our miniscule ideas of justice. I definitely respect that Rob Bell has a right to grapple with these and he has a right to publish his conclusions. I am saddened beyond measure that he picks and chooses the parts of God that he can understand. Because he is defintely missing out on a great experience with a Creator beyond what we can imagine. A Creator that does, indeed, give us a choice and who sacrifices what he wants (perfect communion with all creation) in order to give us the free will to choose whether or not we will serve Him. What a marvelous Savior.

UPDATE

2011-03-14T16:45:00.001-07:00

I did not finish "How to Run a Theatre."

Thank you.

Falling behind. And I can't even believe it.

2011-03-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update because I need to do other, very important things.

I have 246 days left to read 85 books. This probably doesn't seem like it would be that difficult, but I'm afraid I keep putting off Shakespeare and Austen books in an effort to make myself feel good about trimming down my list. Not good.
At this moment I need to read about one book every two and a half days. I am not altogether sure that this is possible. But I will certainly do my best.

This afternoon I will probably finish up "How to Run a Theatre" and then see where to go from there.

Day: 119

Books to read: 85

The Bible

2011-03-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

     Nothing was more frustrating to me than talking to people who weren't Christians and them saying to me, "Well, I've read the Bible and..." It wasn't because of them. No. It was because I was 24 and I claimed to love Jesus and I had never read it all the way through. It's dumbfounding really. If anyone else devotes themselves to a religion and hasn't read the book upon which it was based, we would say that they were misguided or going into it blindly.

     I decided to change that in February. I read through the whole Bible last month. It was challenging. But really, it was totally invigorating. Another great thing I can say about turning 24 is that I read the Bible all the way through and it changed my perspective on my faith.

     First of all, I didn't realize the main themes of the Bible. I used to just think of it as a collection of do's and don'ts and a smattering of stories about very good and very bad people. It has that too, but they are just all so darn connected to each other.

     I spent the first three weeks in the Old Testament. I do not recommend taking this long in the OT. I recommend absolutely reading it as fast as you can. If you think to yourself, "What did I just read?" just shrug your shoulders and go on. The OT is great for that because it repeats the same ideas a lot. Sacrifice a lot. The Israelites disappoint God. They get the snot beaten out of them. They cry to God. God saves them because He loves all these weirdos. They disappoint him again. More sacrifices. And so on.

     By the time I got through dragging through the OT, I didn't know if I would ever make it. Everyone was so sad all the time. But then Jesus enters the scene so seamlessly. And having spent 1200 pages reading God speaking, I recognized for the first time how much He was God. They are the same in speech and in love and in wrath. It's so staggering.

     What I can't get past, though, is the tearing of the temple curtain. I didn't realize how much I had learned from the OT until I got to this in the gospel of Matthew. You can try to understand the meaning of this all you want, but until you have spent three weeks reading straight through laws and sacrifices and guidelines for purity, you can't. The Israelites, and the rest of us even more so, were so seperate from God. They couldn't look at Him, only a select few could even really offer sacrifices and even then only in a certain place and in a certain way.

     That curtain tearing was the moment of victory for us. Jesus' victory over the grave comes later, but we were victorious the moment Jesus died. And I've heard that said to me, but it took reading through the Bible as quickly as I could to really understand it. I cried when I read it in Matthew. Then I cried again when I read it in Mark. And I was disappointed that it wasn't in Luke or John.

     If you are a Christian, you really really should make sure you read through the Bible. Maybe not in a month, but I would encourage you to push yourself to make it in less than a year. It is worth it.

P.S. Kelli (my running friend) and I started walking this morning to try to shake off the winter laziness. It was great and we are on our way to training for some kind of marathon. :)

24 is a good age to be

2011-02-24T16:55:00.000-08:00

     Aside from the fact that I numerically appear to be a year older than my husband, I have become fairly certain that 24 is the age of magic and new exciting events.

     Really, the day before I turned 24 was when it basically started. Jordan took me out to this gorgeous little pan Asian restaurant in Cape. I love Asian food, but I have never been a sushi girl. Until this restaurant. Holy guacamole, Batman! It was awesome. I'm basically obsessed with that restaurant now. It's called Saffron and if you live in the southeast Missouri area you have to go to it.

     The day of my birthday? Basically the normal kind of birthday for me. We went to my home town, had cake, partied with the fam. It was a lot of fun and, honestly, really lucrative. I got enough to justify the purchase of a Macbook pro.

     Sunday things really started getting crazy, though. I ate thousand island dressing on my salad because I had never tried it before. And I liked it. A lot.

     Last Wednesday I took the GRE for grad school. Another first. I scored 550 on Quantitative (which is a fancy way of saying "math that will blow you off of your chair it's so hard") and 580 on Verbal. They are decent scores. I am pleased, seeing as how I haven't taken a standardized test in eight years. I have to wait to see how the writing part fared. I will, of course, update you on this. Unless it's embarrassing, in which case I will not.

     Honest to goodness I cannot remember what I did this past weekend. This is because I had a pilonidal cyst removed from my tailbone, resulting in my inability to sit without heavy medication. That was Friday. It was especially awesome because Jordan had to get me Benadryl because the hydrocodone made my nose itch. And that, my friends, led to me sleeping from 8 P.M. until the next day at 1:30 P.M. with only minor wake-ups in between. Jordan did take me that evening to my very first Disciple Now event. I think it was cool, but I was still moving in slow motion a little bit.

     Sunday they announced that Jordan was being recommended by the search committee to become FCC's worship minister. Awesome.

     Tuesday I broke off the back half of my bottom front tooth while eating a very fiber-ful granola bar. Like, the entire back half. It didn't hurt, but I had to go to the dentist immediately to keep myself from touching it with my tongue so much. So I found a new dentist and that was, of course, delightful and only minorly damaging to my check book.

     Yesterday? Yesterday I finished the Bible. I read it in a month. It was awesome and wonderful and sometime I should blog about my experience with it. I would recommend reading through the Bible cover to cover to anyone. It doesn't have to be in a month. Just the continuity of it is staggering.

     I will work on getting the list updated and my countdowns corrected. Right now, my throat is feeling sad and sore and I believe I will have some spiced tea and listen to it pour down rain outside.

     It's good to be a grown up.

So tired... must blog...

2011-02-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

Hooray! $350 towards Acting Out! It's been a good week.

Regular work has been really crazy lately. Two ten hour days in I'm more than a little tired, but feeling alot better that the two inch stack of papers to be filed has diminished to 5 pages. Of course, I still have a full this:

Along with six crammed full manila folders of overflow from above box. It is absolutely insane. That's ok, though. Because I'm going to totally knock that box out next week.

Tomorrow is our Pampered Chef Spring Launch in St. Charles. I'm so excited. But I'm NOT excited about leaving by 5:30 in the morning. Yuck yuck yuck.

I finished Leviticus yesterday. I better work on diving in to Numbers tonight before I go to sleep. I promised myself that I would read five chapters before I went to bed.

I promise that one day this blog will be much more interesting than just a bunch of lists.

Books to read: 89
Day: 86

Points to Europe: 127,562
Days left: 317

Budget for Joseph: $9,620
Days left:72

Fondue Fun

2011-02-05T17:32:00.000-08:00

I had my first fondue experience outside of chocolate tonight. Jordan and I fired up our fondue pot, filled it will oil and dipped chunks of meat into it to cook it. Chunks of meat dipped in oil. Healthy, healthy us.

Speaking of healthy, I can hardly wait for spring to get here so that I can start running again. I just can't bear to get out in the cold to start. I walk outside and just quit immediately. But one of the perks of working for a hospital is the ability to use their gym seven times this month without paying. Honestly, you would think that they would let you just use their gym if you were an employee, but I suppose that they ARE a not for profit. I think that this will be good, though. I'm feeling inspired and I'm tired of the couch, no matter how productive I am there.

I have been reading through the Bible. I just finished Exodus and am almost through Leviticus, which accounts for the slow going. I have to say, though, that my new favorite character in the Bible are in Exodus. "Then the Lord said to Moses, "See, I have chosen Bezalel, son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts... (Exodus 31:1-3)" It was so edifying to me to read that God himself had filled him with the ability to build the tabernacle that He commanded to be built. Read back a few chapters and you realize the ornate way in which the holy objects of the Lord were to be made. Basically, Bezalel knew how to make beautiful things that were not particularly needed or necessary to most of the people in Egypt. But the Lord thought that they were beautiful. And He wanted the items that Bezalel could make in the place where He would reside.

Well on My Way

2011-01-31T20:18:00.000-08:00

Yay! Submitted my second show in January! Double points in February! I'm going to Europe! I'm totally going!
I also ended up qualifying! Extra 2,000 points! I'm going to Europe!

Books to read: 89
Day: 78

Points to Europe: 127,562
Days left: 325

Budget for Joseph: $9,970
Days left: 80

Ah. Success.

2011-01-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

I finished my portfolio and sent it in on Saturday. Now all there is to do is wait and see what they think of it and if they like me enough to call me in for an interview. I hope so. I would hate to have announced to the world that I'm going back to grad school in the fall only to find out that I'm not even accepted.

I read "The Hunger Games" from cover to cover today. It really IS very good, although post-apocalyptic/government-controlled futuristic novels freak me out a lot. I could sleep after I finished 1984 in high school. I can't help but wish that the author would have left the romance out of it. I know, I know, it's obviously what sells to the younger crowd-- It's just getting old with me.

I tried to read another book that I don't think I'm going to name because I hate it so much and I'm afraid that the author might be the type that would google his book's title to see what people are saying. It just reads like a high schooler's blog. I had to put it down after one chapter. It is very easy to read, mostly because he repeats himself so much that you can just skim over most of the book and still get the gist. I will probably finish it, but only a chapter at a time. I just can't handle it.

I've also started working on getting through the Bible from beginning to end. This is so hard, not because I find it boring, but because I've started trying to do this so many times that Genesis is... well, ok, getting a little boring. Only because I know what is coming, though! I think I will finish Genesis tonight, though, and I would love to get through the Bible by the end of February. I don't know if it's possible, especially since Numbers will probably really slow me down, but I would like to try. I might scatter in some shorter books too, just to get my numbers down.

I had a Pampered Chef show this weekend. It went pretty well, which is what finally made a dent in my numbers. I'm not going to get double points in February, but oh well. I've recruited two girls and I'm about to hit $1250 in career sales. That means 6,000 points that are basically guaranteed in February.

I haven't received any mail yet for Joseph, but I'm really hopeful for this week. Will keep everyone posted on Acting Out!'s progess, when we make some.

Books to read: 89
Day: 77

Points to Europe: 129,712
Days left: 326

Budget for Joseph: $9,970
Days left: 81

~~Days to complete portfolio and send in: 3~~

Today...

2011-01-30T12:22:00.001-08:00

is a reading kind of day.

Success? Kind of.

2011-01-28T20:41:00.000-08:00

Ah. The end of a week. Mostly.

Still have a Saturday morning at the office and a Pampered Chef show to go. Close enough.

I did most of the things I said I would do on Monday. There's only so much time in a day, really. But the week was really successful. Lisa Hoover-Grove signed on as a Pampered Chef consultant and she is so excited. She will be awesome. I also received an order from a generous person at the university to help send my other lovely consultant, Miss Jamie G'Sell, to Rome this spring.

I am getting through my theater book. Feeling the intense need to get below ninety. Actually, I would really love to get below fifty... just so I didn't fret about it so much.

If you're wondering about the thirty dollars toward Joseph, my friend Sarah found it in a practice room. Bad news? Some music student is probably going hungry. Good news? The practice room made a tax-deductible donation and might get a refund.

Want to know something else? I am done with my portfolio! I just need to put it in the mail tomorrow! Please accept me, SIUC!

Books to read: 90
Day: 75

Points to Europe: 130,000
Days left: 328

Budget for Joseph: $9,970
Days left: 83

Days to complete portfolio and send in: 3

Priorities

2011-01-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

The book I'm reading right now is called "How to Run a Theatre." It sounds so simple, and yet, it's one of the most insightful and useful books I've ever read.
One of the things he tells you to sit down and do first of all, is make a list of priorities so that you'll know how to organize your to-do list well. Oddly enough, I am the list queen and I have never done this. So here we go.

1. My relationship with God (this has been suffering)
2. My family (also suffering, aside from Jordan. He probably sees me too much.)
3. My self (health, exercise, stress relief.... you guessed... this has been suffering)
4. Household (cleaning, budgeting...suffering... BAD)
5. The clinic job (I need to make sure that when I am at the clinic, I am AT THE CLINIC. Also, I have some computer classes I need to start taking and a questionaire I need to fill out)
6. Grad school (I need to finish up applying and start studying for my GRE. Also, start saving for next fall when I may not be bringing in much of an income)
7. Pampered Chef (This is one of the things I love to do, so much so that I'm afraid I've let my top priorities fall to the wayside. This is important, don't get me wrong, it will probably be my entire income after this summer, but I need to be more present in the things higher up on my list)
8.Acting Out! (The only reason that this should be my last priority is because there's not a whole lot to be done in this moment. Fundraising letters have been sent, rights applied for... there are just small things that need to be attended to)

The sad thing about my list of priorities is that numbers 5 through 8 should be equally important, but I've got to draw the lines somewhere. If I don't, I will go crazy.

So, in light of what is mentioned above, I vow to do the following today (numbers corresponding with priorities):
1. Spend quiet time with the Word and God for 1 hour
2. Call my mom
3. Jump on the Wiifit and go to bed by 10
4. Finish the laundry and clean out the dishwasher
5. Do 5 CBL's today for the clinic
6. Finish my portfolio (I'm almost done)
7. Read Monday Motivation and make a plan of action for my Travel Club "homework"
8. Continue reading "How to Run a Theatre"

I doubt I get it all done, but at least it's in the right order now. :)

Books to read: 90
Day: 71

Points to Europe: 130,000
Days left: 332

Budget for Joseph: $10,000
Days left: 87

Days to complete portfolio and send in: 7

So so so so so sorry

2011-01-21T11:28:00.000-08:00

I seem to be the worst blog-keeper currently in existence. I would promise to blog more, but after a quick update of my life, I think you will understand why that might not be altogether feasible.

Wednesday, January 5th, is a night that, I believe, will change my 2012 summer forever. I went to my Pampered Chef meeting and what did I find out? I found out that the top incentive trip for next year is a cruise to Europe. Spain, France, and Italy, to be exact. I have been working like a fiend trying to get it. I believe that I have called everyone I know and, at this moment, I have 6 potential recruits to the business. I have to have 12 by December 31, so I am right on track. Selling, however, is being a major booger. Shows are getting cancelled left and right because of the snow. No good at all. In the end, I need 130,000 points to go on the trip. Each qualified recruit is 2,000 points (qualified means that they have sold $1250 worth of merchandise) and each dollar that I sell is worth 1 point. I think I may need to start another countdown as well as my book/days countdown. What's a blog if you don't have at least 3 countdowns running simultaneously?
Which leads me seamlessly into my next long paragraph. Acting Out! has now officially been declared a not-for-profit theater and has also officially been given permission to purchase the rights to Joseph. If I'm right in my budget calculations, I will need to raise approximately $10,000 for the budget. I need to have it in the next three months. Thus, another countdown. Three countdowns! Bwahahahahaha! (shout out to the Count in Sesame Street)
And, lastly, I have been working on getting all my ducks in a row applying for grad school. I got the application in, have scheduled my GRE test, and am now working feverishly on my directing portfolio (which needs to be in by February 1st. Four countdowns! Bwahahahahahahaha!

So, without further ado, the countdowns (which will take me longer to figure out than it would probably take to get my portfolio done)

Books to read: 90
Day: 68

Points to Europe: 130,000
Days left: 335

Budget for Joseph: $10,000
Days left: 90

Days to complete portfolio and send in: 10

I think I'm having an asthma attack....

Worship

2011-01-02T16:19:00.000-08:00

Amazing Grace will not be sung in heaven.

Those were the words I was hearing this morning during worship. Since being attached to Jordan, I have found myself further wrapped up in the debate between traditionalists and contemporary...um...ists.

I don't know all the jargon that goes with this debate. I don't know all the arguments that have to do with either side of the issue. I grew up basically singing exclusively contemporary praise and worship. I think I turned out ok. Likewise, I know many people who have always sung hymns. They are also ok.

The fact of the matter is, though, that all of these songs are shadows of what we will be singing before his throne. We are debating over imperfection. We are debating over which songs help us "worship better." It's ridiculous.

I had been telling people that I liked "mixed worship," meaning that I liked a little of the hymns and a little of the contemporary. I didn't realize at the time that this is just another part of the debate.

So the announcement I would like to make to the world is that I am taking myself out of the debate and I strongly advise that you do so as well. Stop arguing amongst each other about worship, a thing that, once we get to heaven, we will realize that we knew next to nothing about.

I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. John 17:23

Life Lessons from Disney

2010-12-28T21:48:00.001-08:00

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – Despite what you may have previously assumed, it is not unacceptable to live with seven strange men at one time. Yet another shining example of pretty people getting away with whatever they want. Other examples? The Hills, The CW, and high school in general.

Pinnochio – There is an odd connection between your nose and untruths. I wholeheartedly believed this for a majority of my childhood.

Dumbo – Drinking is really really fun. I mean, did you check out that dream? Pink elephants everywhere! Actually, I’m unsure that alcohol can induce that kind of strangeness. So I’m going to go to a new life lesson: Clown-carnies do liquid meth.

Bambis – Hunters are evil. Just flat out evil. I mean, what kid did not have “Mother? Mother!” echoing in his or her ears for weeks after that movie? Also, hunters are stupid and inconsiderate and burn down forests.

Cinderella – If you are ugly, then you will necessarily be evil and mean. Also, if you are evil and mean, you will have gigantic feet. I mean, really, gigantic. I feel the need, too, to point out the ludicrous of the statement, “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep.” I dreamed last night that a crazed bride was swinging a hatchet at me. Does my heart really wish this evil upon me?

Alice in Wonderland – This life lesson might actually be useful. If you do drugs, you’re liable to get your head chopped off by a deck of cards. So don’t do them. Not even if the clown carnies ask you to.

Peter Pan – It is perfectly acceptable and even right for a preteen to remain in the nursery. Any father who would demand otherwise is borderline verbally abusive.

Lady and the Tramp – Coffee and donuts are a nutritious breakfast for dogs of all types.

Sleeping Beauty – Instead of telling your child not to touch sharp objects, send her far away into the woods with three old ladies and don’t tell her anything about spinning wheels. Surely the first time she sees one in her whole life she won’t be curious and touch it.

One Hundred and One Dalmations – If one hundred and one stray dogs knock down your door, it’s time for celebration! Sell everything you have and move out to the country to accommodate them!

The Jungle Book – Sometimes animal cruelty is just the only way to rid yourself of a pesky tiger.

Robin Hood – Communism is the way!

Go Ask Alice...

2010-12-28T17:54:00.000-08:00

I read "Alice in Wonderland" last night. Weird weird weird weird weird. I had to check and make sure that I was reading the right book. Then I had to check and make sure that I hadn't taken any particularly strong decongestants or inhaled any spray paint.
Overall, though, I liked it. It was a crazy journey and I'm not really sure what the moral was, but it was super easy to read and everything was really unexpected.
If you're wondering why this post is so lame, it's because I am also watching "How I Met Your Mother," the greatest show ever conceived by funny human minds.
I have to read a book every 3 1/2 days to make 100 in a year. That is so doable.
I'm going to make some spiced tea.

Day: 44
Books to read: 90

*****EDIT*****
Look at this iPhone case I JUST found on Esty!

The Pretend Home Remodel

2010-12-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

So I've developed a severe fetish for Etsy. I mean, the kind where you seriously wonder if you should get medicated for it.

And so, since I obviously have nothing better to do, I am pretend redecorating my life with Etsy. Would you like to see the pictures? I know you would.

I love this Barnwood table. It's not so rustic that Jordan wouldn't eat on it, but enough to still give me something of that shabby chic look that I crave but can't really accomplish

I would use these all the time. Are they not the most precious things you've ever seen? Don't you think they belong on every teacher's wall?

I don't really need coasters because I don't have a coffee table. But when I do have a coffee table, these coasters are going to protect it.

I have way too much jewelry for my own good, I think, and my grandma just got me a beautiful jewelry box, but I just can't resist wanting this. It's really unique.

Right now my comforter is a straight black number from Target. It cost me about $40. I would really love to have something a little nicer. And this screams, "Really nice hotel" to me. I love nice hotels.

I think that this fits the theme of my life really well right now. I don't know if I would always love this picture, though. Which makes it not completely worth the $250. But it's still pretty.

This would match our couch right now, as is. I am seriously thinking birthday.

This phone? Would go in my office. When I have one.

I can't really decide where this plaque goes. It seems kind of awkward in the bathroom, but that was my first thought.

I am really really not a pink girl, but this picture is just so beautiful. I love everything about it, from the roses that are just about leaning out of the picture at me to the vase that is so blurry that you can barely see it. It's so artistic.

How adorable.

My mom used to sing me this song when I was little. I would love to frame this postcard and put it above my bed.

I WILL get this when i get my Macbook Pro. Which will be soon...ish.

The 4 Hour Body

2010-12-26T17:36:00.000-08:00

Seven Christmases later (and one more to go) we are finally back in our apartment, several tv series richer, plus two nooks, several books, and assorted household appliances. I'm also richer a WiiFit, which is awesome. My weight loss had been severely stunted in the last couple weeks, but I finally made it to 138 this morning, which is ten pounds lighter than I was when I said, "Oy. I am fat, " for the first time. And Jordan has been talking about joining a gym and gaining some muscle, so this is a good start for both of us.

Also, I bought (on my Nook! Eep!) a book called "The 4 Hour Body." I'm thinking about working through a couple of the different "courses" that he gives on the book, starting with the diet that he gives called the "Slow-Carb Diet." His basic intention in the book is to make the biggest change in your body with the least amount of work. The Slow-Carb Diet has these five rules:

1. Avoid white carbs
2. Eat the same few meals over and over
3. Don't drink calories
4. Don't eat fruit
5. Take one day off a week

My favorite is the one day off. He tells the reader that he would go out of his way to basically eat fat. And on top of that, you need to eat that way once a week so that your metabolism won't slow down. Amazing. I am going to make a journal of the wonderful things I will gorge myself on.

In any case, I will probably only do this diet for a couple weeks. I don't really need to lose that much, although it would be awesome to lose about ten more pounds or so. 120 is my overall goal weight, but I don't want to do it on this diet. I can't stick with it that long. Ten pounds would be plenty.

My menu this week? Roughly:

Sunday 6:00:
3 Chicken breasts
Broccoli and Cauliflower
Spinach (which I will never eat from a can again)

Monday thru Thursday
Breakfast:
3 Eggs (2 whites, 1 with yolk)
4 Strips of turkey bacon
Cauliflower

1st Lunch:
2 Chicken Breasts
Cauliflower and Broccoli

2nd Lunch:
5 Strips of turkey bacon
Black beans
Cauliflower and Broccoli

Supper:
3 Chicken Breasts
Cauliflower and Broccoli
Black beans

Friday will be mostly up to my family, because we're having Christmas with my grandparents.

So... starting weight, 138.

And if I make it to 128 and fit the measurements, I'm going to get this:

In other news, I have kind of lost count of the books. So I'm going to read a few more then re-vamp my list. I bought an anthology of 50 classics for $3 on my Nook, so I will probably replace some. Holla!

Oh man

2010-12-22T10:36:00.000-08:00

http://tastetest.etsy.com/

Calling all women! Click on this link! It's so amazing. It's a "taste test" that, in the end, gives you a list of items that are all your style. I could look through the list for hours and hours and never get bored. Maybe a little sad, but never bored.

This site is especially for you, Courtney. I'm just sayin'

Marriage, the Orchard, and the Favorite

2010-12-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

December is such a great month to be married. I finished my Christmas cards tonight (too late to get them to people by Christmas, but it's the thought that counts). Jordan was sitting at his keyboard playing and singing and, every once in a while, conducting. It was great. It was basically everything that I imagined when I knew I would be marrying Jordan Cox.

I also finished the book "Tending the Orchard" tonight. Mark Shell, my pastor from Orchardville Community Church, wrote it as a how-to/memoir on how a church in a community of 100 people started running attendances of right around 600 on Sunday mornings. It really is amazing. I remember attending that church when there were somewhere between 50 and 100 people.

I think Mark hits it on the head when he talks about the people in that church being the reason that it prospers. It's impossible for a church to grow if the congregation doesn't serve. Partially because if the congregation isn't serving then it isn't growing spiritually. There was never a shortage on volunteers there, ever.

And there was a tiny shout-out to The Living Christmas Tree, the Christmas program that my mom started when we went there. It was very nostalgic and made me so proud of my mom. Creative woman, that one.

I also read the play "God's Favorite" by Neil Simon tonight. Definitely on the top ten list of plays I will direct soon.

I started "Little Women" tonight. I'm going to try to get through it quickly, at least by the end of this week.

Day: 36
Books to Read: 92

2500 Pages Later...

2010-12-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

I finished "Breaking Dawn" last night. I just had to. I couldn't go to sleep knowing that I would wake up to read more Twilight. I just couldn't.

As much as I rib Twilight, though, It wasn't an altogether un-enjoyable week. The story is simple and the writing style is just so easy to read that I felt like I was flying through the books, even though it took eight days to read them. Really, though, I averaged about 85 pages an hour, so if you're wanting to impress everyone by how much you read, the Twilight saga is the way to go.

I think by the end of it, though, I was just so sick of the love. Obviously it was a fantasy novel, so there's not point in going into a "that kind of love would never happen" diatribe, but the thought occurred to me nonetheless. I don't think I would have thought that much about it except that so many girls are expecting that it will happen to them now. Let's face it, every girl in the world can identify with Bella. Not even the most popular, peppy girl thinks that she's completely in the "in" crowd or that she is not an outcast in some way or another. Bella finding this perfect man/vampire who did not love her in spite of her quirky-ness, but rather because of it gives us all a little hope that it will happen for us.

It's really no different from the Disney movie fantasies that I subjected myself to when I was younger. It's the happily-ever-after plot all over again.

The funny thing to me, though, is that I so enjoy growing into a new person every day that I don't think I could ever live with someone like Edward. He is "perfect," to be sure, but probably too much so. I need someone to challenge me. To upset my status quo at least once a week. As it stands, Bella will just keep being ungracious about receiving gifts (a personality trait that is, really, not appealing), and awkward about any kind of compliments (a personality trait that I share with her, but am working on improving!). She will never grow into what she might be. Because no one is pushing any kind of better-ness on her.

Now, I know that this is fiction, but I'm just speculating here. If girls really though about it... would they really want a man that literally thought that every move you made was holy? I've decided that the girls that have sense, the girls that know that life is a transformational journey, well, those girls are probably team Jacob. Not that I'm on a team. I'm not joining your stinkin' teams.

Days: 31
Books to Read: 94

Goal Fail!

2010-12-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

So... I got absolutely nothing on my goal list accomplished. I was pretty much consumed with reading Twilight. I'm still not done. I'm on page 512 of "Breaking Dawn," though, so I am oh-so-close to being finished with the Edward and Bella "lurve" nonsense.

Seriously. How much they love each other gives me a headache.

In any case, I will finish this book tomorrow (probably), and then have to pick up something a little less... time consuming. I'd like to read two or three short books (maybe a play or two) to lead me into Christmas. Because next week I'm reading "Little Women." It's not on my list because I've already read it multiple times, but I've been wanting to sit down with it again and Christmas week is an absolute perfect week for this book.

I have got to get these Christmas cards done tomorrow. And read this book. So tomorrow looks like this for me (I think):
1. Finish "Breaking Dawn"
2. Finish Christmas cards
3. Deliver Pampered Chef
4. Answer my neglected emails
5. Send out a reminder to my Pampered Chef hostesses
6. Actually write a coherent blog about the Twilight saga

I think that that is do-able for tomorrow. If I have more time, I may or may not start on another book. A really really short book. No more of this 700 page nonsense...for now.

Side bar: This marks exactly one month since I started this crazy plan. I'm only a couple books behind schedule and I have to give myself a little slack because I hadn't read in so long. It was just a matter of getting back in the swing of things. This week should put me right where I need to be.

Day: 30
Books to Read: 95

In which I reem Twilight

2010-12-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

I really don't have time to be blogging when I should be reading, but I just have to talk about this.

I watched "Twilight" at least a year and a half ago and this was my first reading of the book. Before I say what is coming next, I want everyone to understand that I have never said this before. I have been waiting for just the right book/movie duo. Are you ready?

THE BOOK IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!!!!

There, I said it. Usually I fight with people who say it, because, usually, I think it is ignorant to say it. You cannot possibly fit all the pages of a book into a movie. The movie would be eight hours long. And every movie-based-off-a-book that I've ever seen has essentially kept the integrity of the book. Harry Potter, Narnia, The Lord of the Rings.

But this movie? Catherine Hardwicke (director) and Melissa Rosenberg (screenwriter) obviously believed that lying in a meadow staring at one another in silence was the best way to convey their "feelings" about one another. They also didn't believe that we needed to know anything about any of the other characters. Where was all the development of the movie? When I was done watching the movie I wondered, "What does Edward's family have to do with anything?" Every time Jasper walked into a room I wanted to say, "I'm Harpo!" and Rosaline was just angry for no reason at all. The. Entire. Movie. Carlisle and Esme served as little more than smiling parental figures. And who was that broody guy? Oh yeah, Emmett. He hates Bella, right?

No! No, the book says he likes Bella! Rosaline is angry because she is jealous that Bella is a human! Jasper has the power to control emotions in the room! Alice is becoming Bella's best friend! Carlisle is 322 years old! Esme binds the family together!

And how about that other clan of vampires? The ones that are dressed in fur and designer clothes and all have hair long enough to be ponytails? Oh, in the book they are in jeans and plaid shirts? The men have their hair cut short?

I may or may not take some flack for this, but the first Twilight movie? It sucked royally. I haven't seen the other two, but I might have to. It's the macabre fascination I have with cars crashing and burning. And exploding.

At least they kept the long long long inexplicable silences in tact. Sometimes leaving you wondering... "Have they forgotten their line?" No, they haven't. But the subtext we are supposed to read? We can't. Because Edward and Bella have, apparently, never taken acting lessons. I wish I have devilishly good looks to carry me through life. If I only looked like a vampire, things would be so much easier.

I picked up the other three books from Jordan's brother today and they get thicker. I just figured out that to be done by Saturday I need to read 486.5 pages every day. I'm not altogether sure that that is possible, but I will give it my darnedest. I should be able to finish "New Moon" today without any problem. It's the rest of the week that worries me just a tad. It's going to be a nutty week.

Day: 24
Books to read: 97

Time for the Goals

2010-12-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Wow. I need some shorter term goals than "100 books in a year" or else I am never going to finish. And that is why I am tackling the ridiculous task of reading the Twilight series this week. I think I can do it. I've started on the first one and it is ridiculously simple reading, so I'm not worried about it. I thought it would also be easier to read and comment on the series as a whole than to jump around.

So here are my goals for this week:
1. Read the Twilight series
2. Start on another book (possibly my next Jane Austen)
3. Finish my Christmas cards
4. Clean my apartment
5. Get presents bought and wrapped
6. Grocery shop

I think that's all I have time for. I definitely have my work cut out for me, because there are several other little things that I need to get done, as well as a large undertaking that will probably take me the rest of this month to figure out and complete. And that large undertaking I will announce January first. It's very exciting.

For those of you who are wondering where the running is going to come into play, the cold weather is making it impossible with my asthma to run. I had been running and training for a 5k, but it just isn't possible at the moment. Jordan and I are thinking about investing in gym memberships at the beginning of the year, so I will start then and chronicle my progress.
Day: 22
Books to Read: 98

The Bride

2010-12-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

I am so digging this book, even if it is taking me much longer to read than it should.

The bare-bones of "Searching for God Knows What" is that the Christian faith was intended to be relational. Donald Miller analogizes this in many ways, but my favorite, for obvious reasons, is when he talks about the bride and the bridegroom.

I got married almost exactly 6 months ago, and so am still considered a newlywed. Probably rightly so. I'm just as (if not more so) enamored with my husband as I was when I fell for him.

Preparing for a wedding two hours away from where I was going to school was stressful and time consuming. My mom is a wedding planner, so this wedding was good press for her and she was doing it RIGHT! There was an entire book on etiquette that I attempted to wade through during the first month of our engagement, but promptly laid on a shelf because etiquette just makes me mad.

The morning of the wedding was pretty hectic, starting with the trip to Bella Chez for hair and makeup.

Then we traveled to the church, where I put on my dress.

Lipstick.

And veil.

I mean, I did everything in my power to make sure I was the most stunning bride ever conceived by human hands. Because when I walked in that church, I was going to knock Jordan right off his feet. I mean, he was not even going to know what hit him. He was going to see me like he had never seen me before.

Except, you know... he looked at me just like he always did.

I know that sounds terribly unromantic, but hear me out. It's not that he was underwhelmed... it's that it didn't matter how much I cleaned myself up, he saw the same person coming down the aisle. He saw Kasey, the girl that he loved, that he asked to marry him when she was wearing a wig and was sweaty from just doing a show. And I think that is what redeeming love is like. It's when I go to Wal Mart in my pj's and people look and think, "She doesn't look like much, but there's got to be something there, because Jordan sure loves her."

I think that the picture of Jesus as the bridegroom is beautiful. I think it's what every Christian should try to accentuate in their faith. It's not by works that we are saved. It's grace alone.

Thanks, Donald Miller.

Day: 18
Books to read: 99

Thanksgiving Makes Me Slow

2010-11-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

I've now found at least two different books to read (and more than that if I like them... they both in a series). I'm thinking that reading classics is great and Christianity books are also wonderful, but I could also seize this opportunity to read some pop culture phenomenon books.

So I've added "The Hunger Games" and "Twilight" to my list. I know, English majors, it kills my soul a little as well. But I still think it's important. I mean, there aren't that many great American writers anyway. We've got Mark Twain... and probably the next best thing is Ann Rice. So in order to get my fast food literature fix, I decided to nab these two. Besides that, Jordan says that his students are absolutely going gaga over "The Hunger Games" and since he doesn't have time to read it, I should and explain it to him.

You never know, I may grow really fond of them.

In other news, I'm setting a decent pace on my next book, "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. For those of you living in a hole with wifi, he penned "Blue Like Jazz," which, basically, set the Christian world aflame in a million different ways. I was pretty certain that I was going to marry him when I was in 8th grade, no joke. He presents really difficult questions in such simple ways... such as, "How can a Christian be a pacifist?" or "How can a Christian not think that America is better than anything else in the world?" He's really delightful and I'm really enjoying my read. I'm hoping to get through with it tonight. I've got to pick up my feet because I'm never going to get through this list if I don't.
Day: 14
Books to Read: 99

Finishing

2010-11-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

Today has been a day of accomplishment.

Today I received and submitted two Pampered Chef orders, finished Sense and Sensibility, tied off two scarves, started my next book, "Searching for God Knows What," and began my next scarf. I bought a set of 101 cards with different crochet patterns on each one and am slowly working my way through it. I'm starting to think that I might have some kind of obsession with 100 right now.

I thought about reading all of Jane Austen's novels in a row to kind of get the feel for them, but after that first one, I really think that I need to take a little break. Some Donald Miller humor is just what the doctor ordered.

Day: 8

Books to Read: 99

It's a Thursday

2010-11-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

I finally got a list of 100 books to read. I would have never believed this, but I was grasping at straws towards the end to come up with books. I don't need to be buying any more literature, no matter how much I want to, so these are all from my home collection. Honestly, I will probably be swapping out some of the list after Christmas/when I get the gumption to go to the library. While I do love a good Christianese how-to book, my goal was more about reading a variety of things that I had never read. I think I will wish I was dead if I only read those books the last six months.

I'm still open to suggestions/borrowing a good book from a friend.

Time to read.

Day: 5

Books to Read: 100

Sense and Sensibility

2010-11-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

I have loved Jane Austen for years. Starting with my lovely collection of Jane Austen works that I bought on my lovely trip to England in May 2008.

The first place we went was Bath. The buildings were magnificent, all of them built before America even existed.

We visited the Roman baths. The awesome thing about England is that they let you touch things. We walked on the same stone floors as the Romans. But it's considerably more dangerous now because the stones are super slick.

This is my delightful husband.

Don't jump in the water.

But the most amazing place we went was this:

Sally Lunn's. Established 1680. Jane Austen herself used to come here for tea.

Here's some proof.

And I got to drink tea here.

And here I drank it.

Immediately after this picture I got excited like a little dog and threw up on their rug. Not really. But the memory of it still brings tears to my eyes. I would go there every day if I lived in Bath.

I ran to a bookstore while we were in Bath and purchased my Jane Austen collection. Which leads me to today when I have read my first 100 pages of Sense and Sensibility. I get the sneaking sensation that I have read it before, so I hope you will forgive me for cheating just a little bit. I don't remember the plot or how it ends at all, so it's nice to rediscover its wonder.

In conclusion, this was sitting outside Sally Lunn's. 5 blog-follower points to the reader who can tell me what the heck it is or come up with the most entertaining guess.

The Beginning

2010-11-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

I can't tell the blogging world how many times I have begun a blog. It really is pretty disgusting. Every single time I promise myself that my blog will not be trite, that it will speak to others, that it will mean something. This is sentimental hogwash, probably. Nevertheless, I felt inspired again. So here I am.

In order for me to care about a blog, I think it must be about something outside of myself. My husband is a teacher and I recently sang for one of his choirs. It was the act 2 closer of Little Women: The Musical, "Astonishing." When I asked the girls how many of them had read the book "Little Women," I was appalled. One girl out of sixty eighth and ninth graders. I read "Little Women" when I was ten.

Of course, before I could get too judgmental about these girls, I realized that I hadn't sat down to read a good novel in ages. As a matter of fact, I couldn't remember the last time I read a book all the way through. What ever happened to that ten year old whose mother pried books out of her cold hands?

Therein lies the reason for this blog. I am sure I will have very few readers, but if I could inspire even a few to being reading again or to pick up a great piece of literature, it will be worth it.

I have decided that by this time next year I will have read 100 books that I have never read before. Some will be novels, others biographies or self-help books. I'm going to start with the shelves in my living room and work from there. We really have an obscene amount of literature in our tiny apartment. It's disgusting.

Right now I have a list of 51 books, but I will add more... I haven't even gotten through my bookcase downstairs. And there's two more to go in our guest bedroom...

Day: 1
Books to Read: 100

Motherhood at 24- It's a blessed journey

Don't Waste Your Life

Monday Goals and Updates

Monday Goals-- No updates today

Weight Loss Goal

Things I Love About 5 Weeks

"Monday" Goals? and Yearly Goals update

I Dreamed a Dream

Goals Update and a very late "Monday" Goals Post

Friends and Photobooth Fun

Weekend and Monday Goals

Naps

One of the Guys

Monday Goals and Updates

Post Baby News

12 Goals for 2012

He's Here!

A definitive moment

Weekend Recap- Madrigal Feaste and Feed My Starving Children

Countdown

Madrigal Feaste

Thursday Book Review

New layout!

Whiz Cleaning Wednesday

Facebook Following

Part One: Baby Shower, Part Two: Something men don't want to read

Rock Paper Scissors

God Agrees with Me. Read About the Fall.

Maternity Leave: Day 2

The Groper List

One Year Mark

Revamp for a New Life

Monday Goals and Updates

Trimming Down the Book List

A New Era

Always busy busy busy

Falling behind, but filling out

Countdown update!

And another two!

Two Down...

Sunday To Accomplish List

I will be a better blogger.... I will be a better blogger...

*UPDATE*

Falling behind. And I can't even believe it.

The Bible

24 is a good age to be

So tired... must blog...

Fondue Fun

Well on My Way

Ah. Success.

Today...

Success? Kind of.

Priorities

So so so so so sorry

Worship

Life Lessons from Disney

Go Ask Alice...

The Pretend Home Remodel

The 4 Hour Body

Oh man

Marriage, the Orchard, and the Favorite

2500 Pages Later...

Goal Fail!

In which I reem Twilight

Time for the Goals

The Bride

Thanksgiving Makes Me Slow

Finishing

It's a Thursday

Sense and Sensibility

The Beginning

UPDATE